Why do I hate New Year's Eve?

and just about every other major holiday?

Because I am married to a chef.

I also intensely dislike Valentine's Day and Mother's Day.

Why?

For most people, these dates are reason for celebration ("I love you mom!"), but for me, they are a reminder that my Chef will be stressed out, busy, and will work A LOT. Of all the holidays, however, I think New Year's Eve may be the worst, mostly because of the logistics of the evening. The Chef is up and out of the house early on the 31st, making last-minute tweaks to the menu (because OF COURSE he can never have it settled and ready ahead of time) and prepping like a mad man. The stress will have occupied his head since at least December 26th. He will not fully be able to relax until the night is over.

If I went to the restaurant, I'd be doing a lot of hanging out, trying to stay out of the way of the paying customers and just doing a lot of ....waiting! The Chef will be too busy to talk to me until just before New Year's Eve when he'll come out briefly to kiss me and then go back into the kitchen to celebrate with his other family; the guys in the kitchen. Unless I have particularly stellar company, it's mostly a night of feeling lonely, because EVERYONE else is in a couple, or at least with the one that they love. Yes, the Chef is nearby, but he is busy and really doesn't have time to come out and hold my hand, if you know what I mean. Then he will sleep for half of the day on the 1st. In the meantime, I will wear myself out trying to keep the kids quiet so that the Chef can sleep until at least noon. He'll wake up for awhile, eat, read the paper and then fall back asleep around 4:00 p.m.. This routine is so ingrained, I can practically set my watch to it.

I know this post sounds really whiny. After all, I knew he was a chef when I married him and I knew what kind of life I'd be leading with him. It is no coincidence that the kids call the restaurant "Babbo's house"! However, in this economy, it really is a blessing to have work! I am thankful that we are busy and that the Chef isn't worrying about no one coming out to eat tonight. Still, New Year's Eve for me is more a signal that after a very long and busy month of December, I will finally be getting my husband back! Tonight is the last major night of the holiday (and major money-making) season, and tomorrow we will begin the process of getting our family back together. I miss my husband. The kids miss their Babbo. Everyone else can go ahead and party on New Year's Eve. As for me, I'll take a relaxing New Year's Day with the Chef awake, lucid, at home with his family any day.......

Cooking Light weeknight dinners? yes, please!

These last two weeks have been just awful in terms of getting home in time to prepare healthy foods for the family. We ate out far more often than I'd like to admit. One solution to the time crunch has been to use my slow cooker more often. Although it brings back unpleasant childhood memories for Leone, I'm going to make chili this week.

I also bought a new Cooking Light cookbook. It's called "Fresh Food Fast: weeknight meals," and although it goes against some of my food purist impulses (more about this later), so far it's looking promising. I made the first recipe tonight, Italian Beef and Polenta casserole and it was a big hit. I used 6% ground beef, although you could certainly use ground turkey. I also used two zucchini, which made me feel better about the dish. next time I could probably throw a lot more vegetables in, since Chiara pronounced the zucchini bits quite tasty.

Mind you, Chiara ate the dish after initially making gagging sounds when she first looked at it. Yeah, that's an encouraging sign! Of course my tomato wouldn't come near it, but I never expected him to. He ate an apple, two wedges of laughing cow cheese and a tortilla, so he's good. What a strange, strange child. Chiara was initially not all that crazy about the polenta in the recipe, but then she got over it when I showed her how to mix it with the beef. Then she was quite excited about it. I also pointed out to her that polenta is really the food equivalent of her heritage; i.e. indigenous corn with an Italian twist!

As I mentioned earlier, this recipe does violate some of my food purist impulses. It calls for a jar of spaghetti sauce. I used Classico garlic, because I firmly believe that you cannot have too much garlic. It also called for a sliced up tube of polenta. I know I can get it from the restaurant for free (not to mention tastier and more authentic), but in a pinch, those polenta tubes are sure convenient! I didn't chop any tomatoes or onion. It all came together surprisingly easily. The dish was pretty darn fast, certainly easy, and made six servings. Next time I'll use less beef and put i more vegetables. If I had to work tomorrow, the leftovers would probably be pretty darn tasty. Next up is spaghetti with zucchini and cannellini beans. Hopefully that will be successful too-and just as easy!

Harry Potter-you know you are over-educated when

as you re-read book four of the Harry Potter series, you can't help but marvel at the depth of the false consciousness of the house elves. They are just so darn happy slaving away and serving their masters, you're almost a little upset with Hermione for suggesting living wages and a 40-hour work week (exhibit A: Winky)! I wonder how many Marxist studies courses Jo Rowling took in college? hmmmmmm

Jessica Seinfeld's cookbook was NOT a complete waste

because although the overwhelming majority of her recipes I tried were HORRIBLE, I did come away with one good idea. I call them "sneaky baked potatoes."

This is the idea. It's so amazingly simple.
Chop up a head of cauliflower and steam it until it's soft. Puree it in a food processer, adding water as necessary, until the cauliflower has a smooth, mashed potato like consistency. Do you see where I'm going with this?

bake your potatoes, then scoop out 90% of the potato pulp. Save it for another use.
Now mix 10% of the potato into a bowl with the cauliflower, adding salt, butter etc to your taste. Then spread the mixture into the shells of the baked potato, pop it back into the oven for a few minutes and serve! We top ours with cheese and steamed broccoli.

the kids will get a good dose of vegetables, some obvious and some not-so-obvious.

so simple, right??

Unfortunately the overwhelming majority of the Seinfeld cookbook was absolutely awful (Chef points out that you should not buy a cookbook from a celebrity. point taken), but the idea of hidden cauliflower has proven surprisingly useful.

and PLEASE don't tell me that my kids should love vegetables on their own, that I shouldn't hide them, blah blah blah.
yes, some kids are surprisingly adventurous and will eat anything. and then there are others that just....won't. I've got one of each. So sometimes, yes, I sneak in veggies. I refuse to feel ashamed of this. I hope that one day, my kids will appreciate the beauty of cauliflower on its own, but in the meantime, sneaky baked potatoes make me feel better and make them happy. It's a win-win situation, don't you think?

three kitchen appliances that I love

now that I am thinking about it, it's kind of irrational that I love these three small kitchen appliances so much, but they really do make my life SO much easier. Now that I'm working full-time again, it's even more important to be organized and have my appliances do as much of the work for me as possible!

1. My yogurt maker is the BEST. Yes, I know you can make it in the crock-pot, but my crock-pot is otherwise occupied right now. We here at Casa Palagi are crazy about yogurt, and especially greek yogurt, so this was a very good investment. I'm making yogurt right now that later I'll strain into greek yogurt, but because of his handy-dandy machine, it's all MUCH less expensive and pretty darn convenient. Sadly, I have run out of Sage Mountain Farms organic locally-made strawberry jam, so I guess I'll have to flavor our yogurt with something else.....

2. My crock pot is making baked potato soup right now and my house smells wonderful! This last week was extra busy and we ate out WAY too much. It's time to bust out the crock pot and have a nice meal waiting for us when we get home from our various extra-curricular activities.

3. It is now the one-year anniversary of me buying myself my wonderful kitchen aid mixer for Christmas. Merry Christmas to me! Now that I have it, I'm not sure how I ever lived without it! Sure, it would be nice to have it in fire-engine red (from Sur la Table, I think), but it has helped me make countless muffins, cupcakes, breads etc despite the fact that it is plain white. I love it.

I must also note the presence of my slowly dying kitchen cabinet undermount iPod/radio stereo. I don't think I could cook without having access to NPR and/or good music from my iPod!

making a wreath, checking it twice......

So we're making Advent wreaths at church today and that brings back a lot of memories.

When I was a kid, Sunday nights were VERY important, because those were the nights we lit the candles on our advent wreath! We went from youngest to oldest, so I lit the first candle on the first Sunday, then my brother, then mom and dad. At the time, I just was anxious for all the Sundays to pass, all the candles to be lit and for Christmas (and Santa!) to get here already!! I don't think I paid a lot of attention to the prayers.

Now, of course, I see things a little differently. Now, I am looking at the Advent wreath as an opportunity to continue a tradition with my children. Apparently not so many people do the wreath nowadays, and I think that's kind of sad. Well, not so many people are eating dinner together, so maybe that explains part of it, but I think a lot has to do with our busy, hurried lives. To light the advent wreath, you should really all be sitting down together, preferably over a nice dinner! You should think about the prayers, think about the loved ones surrounding you, and reflect on the blessings in your life. Our daily lives are so filled with stress, that I think the Advent wreath is a nice throw-back to a simpler, more family-oriented time.

So make an Advent wreath this year and see if you can start a new tradition! Or at the very least, at some point during the holidays, just try to sit down and have dinner together with your loved ones. As Martha Stewart would say, "it's a good thing."

the times they are a-changin'....

So today I hosted an "organizational" meeting of Arlington's first Gay-Straight Alliance Club and we had a pretty good turnout. I had a small sign up in my own room and a special ed/theater teacher spread the word a bit (thanks Merica!), which was NOT a lot of publicity, but we still managed to get 13 really spirited and fun kids in my room at lunch time without even the lure of food or Lady Gaga!
The sign in my classroom prompted very little commentary. A couple of kids asked what a GSA was and reacted with "ugh" or "gross," to which I replied "then don't come to our meeting." One girl asked if the club was legal! However, I had many more kids ask me if they could join and could I please not make the regular meetings on Thursdays, because that conflicts with French Club! Kids are so busy these days!

I'm sure there are kids who don't approve, or staff that will be uncomfortable with the existence of a GSA club on campus, but overall I've been absolutely amazed at the positive response. I am also amazed, when I think about it, by how much things have changed since when I was in high school.

In retrospect, we all knew who some of the gay kids were in high school (may he rest in peace, Todd Parker was already a huge B-52s and Bette Midler fan by that time), but there were a LOT, I'm sure, who flew under the radar. This was the time when we were all scandalized that Boy George told America that he was glad we recognized a good drag queen when we saw one, and we all promptly assumed he had told us all he was gay. I think we thought it was the same thing. As far as I can recall, there were no openly gay people around back then. Even Liberace was in the closet. Perhaps I was just stunningly naive, but I had no idea that the Village People were gay. This was the age before the internet, before MTV played black artists-heck, back when Michael Jackson was actually black! and MTV actually played videos!

It is absolutely monumental that there are not only openly gay and lesbian politicians, teachers, entertainers etc today, but that there are openly gay and lesbian students in our classrooms. Many of them have been out since middle school. Many of them have absolutely no issue with holding hands or being affectionate with each other. Many straight kids don't see anything unusual about this. Never in a million years would this have happened at Perris High School in the 1980's.

One of my openly lesbian students expressed concern that our club not be just for gay kids, but for everyone, and I totally agree with her. She pointed out that the Mexican kid who sits next to her in class was initially hesitant to sit next to her. After a few months, they talk and work together and it is no big deal. Perhaps in a very small, but significant way, she's made an impact on how he views gays and lesbians. I know that it's an overused cliche, but it is a lot easier to hate or demonize the unknown/other (whether it's a black person, a lesbian, a Mexican etc) if you don't actually know any of them. It's a lot harder to hate when that person is sitting next to you in history class. I hope that our little GSA, simply by its existence, will raise awareness that gays and lesbians and straight people can be friends and can work and live together in harmony. There is so much divisiveness and intolerance in our world today. I know there's room for a little more peace, love and understanding.

I love my Prius

So I've been driving my Prius for about three months now and I must say that I LOVE IT! Here's why (not in order of importance):

1. with my old Passat, I had to fill up with super-unleaded gas once a week. 12 gallons of super unleaded gas=$$$! Now I fill up with gas about every two weeks, 9 gallons of REGULAR gas that generally costs less than $30. Less money spent on gasoline is less money sent to Iran and Saudi Arabia.

2. The Prius has forced me to think about HOW I drive as well as how much I drive. I accelerate more slowly, definitely try to get into the pulse-and-glide mode, and make a game of upping my gas mileage. So far I haven't managed to get over 45.5 mpg, but I am trying!

3. I will admit that driving the Prius is not NEARLY as much fun as the Passat. I can't power around other cars or zip onto the freeway anymore. That IS kind of a drag. However, did I mention 45 mpg? I can SO live without the zip. I'll leave that to the teenage boys in their raised trucks. Besides, if I need to climb a hill, the Prius can do it handily. and did I mention 45 mpg?

4. Although I have REALLY been trying to avoid the Prius "smug" factor, I will admit that I mentally make notes about every raised truck or frenzied teenager zipping down the road. I try to keep the smug factor as an internal dialogue. However, I continue to freely and openly hate on Hummers, which I did even before I owned the Prius.

5. Finally, this new car has a hook-up for my iPod! No more burning CDs just to play in the car! This may seem like an insignificant point, but I LOVE my music, and now it is sooooo much more convenient.

6. I love sneaking up on people when I'm in EV model. I feel futuristic, like I drive a car from "Gattaca."

7. Did I mention 45 mpg??

will racism, ignorance and fear be rewarded?

I am almost afraid to check the election results. I am so afraid that not only Sharon Angle will win (the Senate candidate who ran the patently racist Wave commercial in Arizona), but that people who are more militant and even less likely to reach across the aisle and compromise will be elected. i am afraid that the result will be even more gridlock and more frustration on the part of the average Joe voter who is just looking for someone to blame.

I am prepared for the depression tomorrow, but I"m not looking forward to it.

When people run openly anti-Mexican ads, it depresses me.

When people shove protesters to the ground and step on their heads, it worries me that we have lost all civility.

When HUGE amounts of corporate dollars, secret corporate dollars enter into political system, I worry that we are too easily bought.

when we can't debate issues, but instead devolve into name-calling and negative ads, I worry that our democracy cannot sustain itself.

No matter what happens in this election, I am still likely to be okay, but I worry for those who live closer to the edge.
If we are to be judged by the way we treat the poorest and most vulnerable amongst us, I am afraid we are not faring well.

why church is good for you.

Today's gospel was, I believe, a perfect example of why I think attending church on a regular basis can be really good for you. If I could sum it up in a catch phrase, it would be "it's not about you."

To totally paraphrase today's lesson: two guys go to pray at the temple. One is a community leader, wears the right clothes, contributes regularly, and when he prays, talks to God nonstop about how he is so happy that he's not a thief, a beggar, or that sketchy-looking tax collector who is sitting uncomfortably close to him. He spends his prayer saying all the right things, but barely giving God a chance to get a word in! The tax collector, meanwhile, knows that people hate him. He knows he's done bad things (overcharging and keeping the extra cash for himself). He asks God for forgiveness, implores God to help him lead a better life and thanks God for the opportunity to do so. Instead of talking about himself all the time, like the other guy, he is silent and lets God speak to him. He leaves the temple feeling like a new man and God is clearly pleased with him.

I think God is really saying in today's gospel, it's really, really not all about you. I wish more people would listen to that idea. I think I need to get reminded of it myself, as I'm clearly not perfect either.

It is so very easy to get caught up in the drama of our every day problems. A long-term boyfriend breaks up with a friend, and all she can think about his how to get him back, or how her life is so terrible. A neighbor complains that their job is so difficult and so trying, it hardly seems worth the effort. A star athlete complains that they are treated unfairly by the press.

Really, people, can we just get over ourselves for a little bit and see what's really important?

Yes, it is awful when your heart is broken. Sometimes our workplaces can be difficult and stressful. And yes, sometimes tabloid press coverage can be unfair. Maybe it's my eternally optimistic mother (and immigrants are nothing if not optimistic), that always stressed looking at the flip side of the coin. Yes, your heart was broken, but you did experience love and hopefully you DID learn something from it. Yes, your job is tough, but hey, at last you have a job! So many people do not! Be thankful for the blessing of work! yes, the tabloid may have you splashed on its cover, but presumably you are getting paid for what you love to do, and isn't that a HUGE blessing in itself? For goodness sake, stop whining!

Even if my children don't grow up to regular church-going Episcopalians, I hope and pray that this experience in their youth will help them to see that the world is more than their comparativelytiny, tiny trials and tribulations. We are all truly blessed to be born in an industrialized nation, with roofs over our heads, clean drinking water and food on the table. We are blessed to have world-class educations, especially when less than 1% of the world's population has college degrees. Most of the time we are blessed with good health and access (however expensive that access may be) to first class health care. We are blessed with a democratic government that (for the most part) respects our human rights and allows us the opportunity to fulfill our dreams and to provide a better future for our children. We have families and communities that nurture us and give us strength when the waters are rough.

Of course there are important, critical issues that we need to think about and address: global warming, our dependence on foreign oil, sustainable food, budget deficits, unemployment, etc.

However, I do feel every once in awhile we need to stop and think about all the blessings we do have in our lives. We need to stop whining, to stop wallowing in our own problems and be thankful (to God, Allah, or in the case of my friend Jake, to "Cher") for what we do have in our lives. In Sunday School today, the children were asked to write three simple sentence "prayers" to God. the key words were "Please," "thank you" and "I'm sorry." Taking a cue from my 7 year-old, I'd like to say the following: "Please" God/Allah/Cher, help me to think of others who are less fortunate than myself. "Thank you" God/Allah/Cher for all of the many blessings in my life. Finally, "I'm sorry" that I haven't been a better person this week, that I've been wallowing in my own problems and not seeing the forest for the trees. I'll try to do better, with your help.

You don't have to believe in God to agree that we all need, sometimes, to take ourselves a little less seriously. We need to stop, get off the egocentric (affluenza?) train and take stock of what really matters in our lives. It's not all about our problems. It's not all about us. It's really not. Make an honest assessment of your life and see what you can do better. Then tomorrow is a new day and a new opportunity to do better.

the curse of being big

Chiara asked when she is going to start up with tennis again! This is good, right? She's taking an interest in a sport, in being active and having fun. Unfortunately, this entails buying a pair of shoes, and once again mommy starts to worry.....

First worry, will I even find a pair of tennis shoes for her in the kids department in her size? Last time I checked, she was a kid size 4, which is the equivalent of a women's size 6. Yes, she's got a woman-sized foot on her 7 year old frame. This presents so many difficulties.
There is, of course, the money factor! Women's tennis shoes are at least double in price! And of course, most women's shoes don't have flashing lights or sparkly pink swooshes. This leads into difficulty #3; my girl, despite her size, is still a little girl! She would like flashing lights on her shoes (like her brother has) and would like sparkly, girly doo-dads on them too. Unfortunately, most kids shoes with the aforementioned doo-dads are not produced in size 4, presumably because manufacturers figure that by the time your foot is that big, you've outgrown the need for sparkly, child-like accoutrements. I don't think these manufacturers took into mind giant-footed little girls.

There are so many times when Chiara gets the short end of the stick because she is such a tall and big girl. The Chef can toss Mario all over the swimming pool because he is still so (relatively) small and slim. Chiara begs to be tossed too, but really, her sheer size limits her to minimal trajectory.

She still wants to be picked up, but really, it's a struggle for me to hoist her up around my waist. Last I checked, she weighs around 75 pounds, and that is quite a formidable size. I can generally only manage to carry her a few steps before I have to set her down, for fear of injuring my back. Even the Chef (with all his neck and back problems) cannot lift her. Last time I checked, Uncle Andrea was the only one strong and healthy enough to throw her up in the air! She still loves to be thrown in the air....

and clothes? oy. I am thankful for elastic waist leggings, Hanna Andersson clothes (however, expensive they may be), but I absolutely CURSE the makers of jeans who apparently don't believe that even big girls need elastic waists! I dread the day when my girl curses the shape of her body in a dressing room, as she wonders why she can't fit into the skinny jeans that all the other girls are wearing. I wish that I could insulate her from that reality, but I know I cannot. I expect that within the next year or two, she'll outgrow the girls department (she's already in sizes 10/12) and I know one day I will have to find age-appropriate clothes in the women's department.

The clothing and shoe manufactuers of America need to expand their size ranges for the sake of Chiara and other big and tall girls who are rapidly outgrowing what is readily available. I'm not ready for my 7-year-old to in the women's clothing or shoe departments yet. In a world where girls are being urged to grow up and assume adult roles at younger and younger ages, I'd like to keep my little girl a girl for as long as I can. Hopefully that's still possible.

first "cycling" class

So how did cycling/spinning go? I'll put it this way; treadmill is to running what cycling is to actually being outside on a bicycle. Close, but not quite. However, given that I have two small children and a husband who is never around to watch them while I go outside to run or bike, I think that treadmill and cycling will be in my future. So here's how it went:

1. Glad I got there early. Apparently the Saturday morning class was full.
2. I wasn't the only newbie.
3. Despite the fact that I wasn't the only newbie, the instructor was annoyingly vague about what we needed to do and when.
4. If you are not going to explain terms, you should post photos and short descriptions of what the different terms mean (time trial, over the top) and what gear, cadence, etc we should aim for.
5. All that whooping and yelling that is apparently the norm in spin classes is really annoying. I understand that it is supposed to show your enthusiasm, but I just found it distracting. I'm trying to pretend that I'm climbing over a mountain and a girl two rows over from me is whooping it up like she's on the warpath.
6. Apparently I am the only freak in the class that rides to the rhythm of the music. Please don't ask me to go faster because it is UNNATURAL for me NOT to ride with the beat. Or get a song with a faster beat. This Mexican girl has the beat in her soul and I can't just randomly spin, whatever the tune.
7. I need more feedback more often about where I should be regarding heartbeat, cadence etc.
8. It really was a sweaty workout. So happy I brought the towel and the water.
9. Padded cycling shorts are a must. Some of my, um, parts were uncomfortable.
10. That was a looooong one-hour class. Mario complained a bit that I was gone for a long time and he was not too happy about it. Perhaps he might've been happier if they had games or toys in child care center. That place is barren.
11. Despite the annoyances, I think I WILL try cycling/spinning again. It WAS a good workout.

Survivor: Mother Edition

I usually try to write my own stuff, but my friend Juliana sent this to me and I literally laughed out loud. I liked the line best about how you could only watch TV once all the chores are done.

so, here goes:
THE
NEXT SURVIVOR
SERIES
Six married men
will be dropped on an island
with one car
and 3 kids each

for six weeks.

Each kid will play two sports
and take either music or dance classes.

There is no fast food.

Each man must
take care of his 3 kids;
keep his assigned house clean,
correct all homework,
complete science projects,
cook,
do laundry,
and pay a list of 'pretend' bills
with not enough money.

In addition,
each man
will have to budget enough money
for groceries each week.

Each man
must remember the birthdays
of all their friends and relatives,
and send cards out on time--no emailing.

Each man must also take each child
to a doctor's appointment,
a dentist appointment
and a haircut appointment.

He must make one unscheduled and
inconvenient visit per child to the Emergency Room.

He must also make cookies or cupcakes
for a school function.

Each man will be responsible for
decorating his own assigned house,
planting flowers outside, and keeping it
presentable at all times.

The men will only have access to television
when the kids are asleep and all chores are done.

The men must shave their legs,

wear makeup daily,

adorn themselves with jewelry,

wear uncomfortable yet stylish shoes,

keep fingernails polished,

and eyebrows groomed

During one of the six weeks,
the men will have to endure severe
abdominal cramps, backaches, headaches,
have extreme, unexplained mood swings
but never once complain or slow down
from other duties.

They must attend weekly school meetings
and church,
and find time at least once to spend
the afternoon at the park or a similar
setting.

They will need to read a book to the kids eachnight
and in the morning,
feed them,
dress them,
brush their teeth and
comb their hair
by 7:30 am.

A test will be given
at the end of the six weeks,
and each father will be required to know
all of the following information:
each child's
birthday,
height, weight,
shoe size, clothes size,
doctor's name,
the child's weight at birth,
length, time of birth,
and length of labor,
each child's favorite color,
middle name,
favorite snack,
favorite song,
favorite drink,
favorite toy,
biggest fear,
and what they want to be when they grow up.

The kids vote them off the island based on performance.

The last man wins only if...
he still
has enough energy
to be intimate with his spouse
at a moment's notice.


If the last man does win,
he can play the game over and over and over
again for the next 18-25 years,
eventually earning the right
to be called Mother!


After you get done laughing,
send this to as many females as
you think will get a kick out of it and
as many men as you think can handle it.

Just don't send it back to me....
I'm going to bed.

Disneyland sucks!

ok, well not really. However, going there last night reminded me why (for now) Legoland is soooo much better.
reason #1; if you have an annual pass, you have to park twelve million miles away and take a tram into the park. At least nowadays I'm not dragging a stroller along, but it's still a pain.
reason #2: It's really crowded. yeah, I know-DUH! Usually we go in the mornings where it's just us and the other crazy people that get there at 7:30. When you go at night, however, there are twelve million people. These people include teenagers who dart in front of your children, laughing hysterically and not watching where they are going, holdout grown-ups dragging passed out children around in their triple-wide strollers and gigantic white people from the midwest blocking the walkways.
reason #3: as I mentioned last night, idiot adults get on the kid stuff (like the ropes adventure) and trample the little kids. Nobody tramples my kids at the Legoland ropes course. Why? Because it is specifically designed for kids and even if you DID try and trample my kid, a horde of angry parents would shame you into growing the F*** up! Seriously, last night this grown man and his wife were grabbing the sides of a bridge, bouncing up and down and screaming at the top of their lungs. and yes, it was still daylight. and yes, they saw that my kid and other kids behind them were freaking out at the apparently insane behavior of grown ups. and they didn't care. and it was still daylight. people are stupid.
reason #4:as Stephanie mentioned earlier this week, even the usually chipper staff was a bit surly last night. Last year when Chiara went for her birthday, EVERYONE wished her a happy birthday and did so with a genuine (or at least genuinely faked) smile. This year, it was more forced, some people forgot and some people just apparently didn't care. What happened to the Disney "magic"? If I am going to pay a ton of money for an annual pass, in the middle of the Great Recession, people had better be nice to me!! Or at least be nice to my little girl. I know she LOOKS like she's a jaded 9 year old, but she's still barely 7 and these things matter to her.

Of course there are still things that disneyland does spectacularly well. That Aladdin show is amazing. The fireworks show and how they choreograph it with the music and story is so creative. The "Soaring Over California" ride was incredibly realistic. However, these good things do not outweigh the many annoyances of Disneyland. We'll probably be back when the kids are older, but for now? Good riddance Disneyland! Hello Legoland!

little girls magazines?

I saw a cool magazine this week at school that was all about girls/women and sports. There were women of all shapes and sizes, with mercifully few ads for beauty products. I thought to myself, "wow! I wonder if there is a magazine like this for little girls?" It would be better if this magazine didn't accept advertising, even if it was more expensive per issue.
So far, I can't find anything.
I am trying, as much as possible, to limit the insidious influence of advertising (beauty products etc) on her life. I don't want her to grow up and become part of the hyper=sexualized media campaign of Miley Cyrus and the like. I want her to enjoy being a little girl, be comfortable with her body and see some positive role models.
Is there anything out there? and if there isn't, will I have to create it??

Mother's Day

You know you are married to a chef when the very THOUGHT of Mother's Day fills you with dread. Even if you ARE a mother yourself.
Of course you wouldn't dare expect Chef to cook for you and your mom because he will be HIDEOUSLY busy and stressed out. You also won't go to any other restaurant because you know THEIR chefs and wait staff will also be busy and stressed out. So you will probably stay home and make pizza for the kids.

Dear Arizona.....

I'm angry and I'm hurt. I haven't felt like this since California's Prop. 187. But that's not really my point.

Let me tell you a not-so-well kept secret about being Mexican-American in the United States. What is the FIRST thing we look at when a baby is born? Why, the color of the skin, of course. People say things like, "oh, she's so pretty and light," or "he's handsome, but a bit dark, no?" Why do we care about these things? One could cite the history of colonialism, racism by the Spanish, mestizaje etc. but really it all boils down to this: the color of your skin determines how the world will interact with you. If you are dark, people will make certain assumptions about you and treat you a certain way. If you are light, you will look more Anglo and people will perceive and treat you differently.

Often within one famly, as with my mother's, you get a range of skin tones from very fair (and freckled in my mom's case), to very dark. Simply by a genetic code, I (and my children) ended up on the light side of the spectrum. As my mother noted the other day, my Tio Vildo would be flagged by immigration (and has been), but my red-haired, freckled mother never has, and likely never will be. Simply because of the shade of her skin. Yet they are both children of Humberto and Rafa Rios and both Mexican. Unfair, don't you think? I'll get to why I think this is significant, Arizona, in just a minute.

I understand some of the sources of your frustration, Arizona. The rancher that was killed on his ranch recently was very likely killed by drug smugglers. Tighter enforcement of the borders in California has led illegal border crossers to undertake the more treacherous and deadly route across the desert into Arizona. The booming economy in the Phoenix area drew a huge population of tile-layers, drywallers and other day laborers. Now the economy is no longer booming, but many of the problems of rapid growth in the immigrant population (schools, roads, housing) remain. I can see that you are frustrated, Arizona, that the federal government appears unable to confront the very real issue of how to deal with illegal immigration.

Passing this new law, however, Arizona is not the solution. Police officers absolutely should be able to question the immigration status of someone who has committed a crime. If they have committed a robbery, assault, smuggled drugs, driven a car while drunk, then absolutely their immigration status should be ascertained. If it is determined that they are here illegally, then absolutely they should be deported and forced to serve their jail time in Mexico. I don't want criminals from other countries sitting in our jails at taxpayer expense when they could be shipped off to their home countries.

However, you have to realize, Arizona, how dangerous your new law could be in the hands of a less than ethical police officer. If the color of one's skin can be a reason for questioning someone's immigration status, then the corroborating reason could be something as simple as a dark-skinned person driving a car that looks too nice late at night. So my Tio Vildo, or many of my other relatives, all legal citizens, could be stopped for driving while brown, while at the same time, my mother and I would not. Does this mean that my darker-skinned cousins would need to carry identification papers all the time? I certainly wouldn't need to. What about people who come from families that have been in this country for generations, yet still have dark skin and look very "Mexican"? Is it fair that these people, as "American" as apple pie, yet very brown to the eye would have their citizenship questioned? Can you see, Arizona, how I would find this whole idea of having SKIN COLOR be a reason for questioning someone's immigration status, so patently unfair and unjust? Is it a crime to be brown in Arizona?

I never thought I would be THAT mom, but....

I hid some vegetables in my kid's food.

A few years ago, this book by Jessica Seinfeld came out to much hoopla (appearances on Oprah, Today show etc.). In it, Ms. Seinfeld explained how she made purees of vegetables, hid them in her kids' food and they were none the wiser! At the time, I rushed out and bought it, tried a few recipes and they were TERRIBLE! Then, as fate would have it, my child LOVED broccoli, cauliflower etc. so I was convinced of my moral superiority. Hiding vegetables was a horrible thing to do! You must be honest with your children and teach them to eat as you eat! My kid LOVES vegetables! What's wrong with yours??

and then Mario came along. He brought my hubris to a screeching halt.

He doesn't eat. I made spaghetti carbonara the other day, and he picked out the pancetta, drained the sauce and ate exactly four noodles. He eats fruit, I'll grant him that, but really his repetoire of foods shrinks by the month. I kept my vow that I would NOT make a separate meal for him (pizza, french fries and strawberries would be HIS request) and I dutifully put a plate of food in front of him every night. He picks at it, then runs to the fridge to get a wedge of laughing cow cheese, some crackers and some fruit. Apparently this is called his "french" phrase, only we're not french. It's so frustrating!

So I returned to the Seinfeld book. I felt really, really guilty about it. Last night on the way home from work, I bought a bag of baby spinach and some fancy looking carrots at Trader Joe's. I made the recipe for brownies (with the aforementioned vegetables "hidden" in them), and as it turns out....the kids LOVE the brownies. So far no one has asked if there is spinach in them. Right now I am steaming a batch of cauliflower that I am going to try and add to some scrambled eggs and then maybe a baked potato later on.

I feel HUGELY guilty about this. Like somehow I have failed as a mom. To top it off, they are CHEF'S kids! They should be eating kalamata olives, prepping artichoke hearts and eating vegetables from our garden.

Except they are not.

This summer I'm going to try and plant more veggies. I'm going to continue to present dinner and if Mario doesn't eat it, he has to fetch his own. I'm going to continue to hide vegetables. and I suppose I'm going to continue to feel guilty about it. Somehow I don't think my mom stressed about this so much.

it's the end of the quarter

The end of the third quarter signals a few things to your average high school teacher.

1. We're in the home stretch to the end of the school year. This is thrilling (we get to sleep in! no more grading!), but also a bit sad. We've spent the whole year getting to know our students and in just a few short months, it will all be over. Each class has its own personality. Some are smart-alecks, some are lethargic (particularly after lunch), some are over-achievers (why aren't you in honors?) and others should receive a group-rate discount on Ritalin or Adderal. Students who got on my very last nerve in September are suddenly far less irritating. Some kids have gotten their acts together (ah, maturity!) and still others have backslid into what will likely be a one-way trip to continuation school. While I do long for the relaxation and full time SAHM status for 10 weeks, I will also mourn the loss of community with entire classes and with individual students. Right now I know which students can be teased and which are very sensitive. Come August/September, I will have to tread carefully as I get to know each student and class and assess their temperment. It's exciting of course (I can try out this lesson and see how it works this year!), but it's also daunting.

2. Fourth quarter also signals, unfortunately, the arrival of CSTs and high stakes testing. We get one week of regular instruction when we get back from spring break to cram in the last of the materials on the pacing (racing?) chart and then it's two weeks of nearly daily testing. Though the kids get tired of what appear to be endless testing, we are instructed by administration to cajole our students to at least TRY to do well on their exams (which have absolutely no bearing on their final grade) and pray that they bring enough distractions to keep them from disturbing others for the entire testing period. For this brief period, in my classes at least, they are urged (begged?), to bring a book, newspaper, iPod, WHATEVER to keep them occupied. For several days, we have two hours with a particular group of testing, then ANOTHER two hours with the same students for regular instruction. Yes, that's four hours with the same group of students. It's these days that I most fully appreciate our elementary school compatriots, since after those four hours, even the most likable group of students becomes too much.

3. Lastly, 4th quarter for history teachers means that we get to teach, more or less, what we want. Since we have to teach four quarters worth of standards in 3 quarters (to get the kids ready for those all important exams), it's in the 4th quarter that we get to do projects, activities and other lessons that we just don't have time for in the rest of the school year. It's liberating, but also somewhat confusing. Much like a prisoner who has become so accustomed to the regular routine of the incarcerated life that he is unable to function in unfettered freedom of the outside world, the history teacher who gets to teach without district mandated exams and common assessments is often confused and hesitant. You mean I get to teach about the rest of the world in world history now? Not just Europe? I can teach about Africa? Really? Even Latin America and Asia? Cooooool! But wait! There aren't any common assesments???? What will we do in our PLC meetings???

really, who has the time?

yeah, so I'm one of those moms that looks down on lunchables. Bad for the environment! filled with food that is not necesarily the healthiest!
I think this is the year, however, where I really could comprehend why moms use them.

This is also the year that I needed to pack three lunches rather than two, and I think that was the tipping point. I don't even work full-time and I still struggle to find the energy at the end of the day to clean out the million little plastic/glass containers and fill them up again with all the appropriate foods. By 8:00pm, I am tired! I want to waste time on the internet or maybe watch something random on TV. I certainly don't WANT to pack lunches or clean up the kitchen.

Of course if I had a husband who worked normal hours, maybe this lunch packing task wouldn't feel so onerous. Perhaps he would take charge of some of the lunch packing. well, on second thought, he totally wouldn't. If you dealt with food all day, would you want to come home and pack lunches? Probably not.

So this is my solution to feeding myself and the kids all week: cook and bake up a storm on the weekend. Prep as much as possible so meals can be thrown together at the last minute. I've made 3 dozen muffins this weekend. I'm going to use the crock pot this week too.

I want to make healthy meals for my kids and model good eating habits. I also want to make sure they see their mommy being active and going to the gym. My house and kitchen also need to be kept reasonably clean. I would like to see my husband occasionally. There are not enough hours in the day and I don't have enough money to outsource more of the reproductive tasks of the household (housekeeper, personal chef!).

I'm trying not to sound too whiny. After all, I have a great husband, a great job, benefits, two beautiful kids and reasonably good health.

I just need maybe four more hours in my day to get everything done.