things that I've learned

in the few weeks since my original blog post regarding my kids' school, I've had some time to digest what I said, how people reacted to it, and maybe where we go from here. I would definitely say that perhaps it would've been good to have handled things differently, not laundered our dirty clothes in quite so public of a way, but I absolutely don't regret writing what I did. I think it's started some very necessary conversations about where our school needs to go from here. I also think it's really brought several things into focus for me.

The first thing that really struck me, and this shouldn't be surprising, is that for every person in that board meeting, there was often a completely different understanding of what went on that night. People bring their life experiences, their ethnic, racial, and socioeconomic backgrounds with them and view social interactions through those lenses. As a social scientist, I shouldn't have been surprised by this, and yet it still caught me off guard. What I interpreted as a socioeconomic/racial comment, others interpreted as a more general commentary about the role of young women and girls in our society, another interpreted it as more of a commentary about the coarsening of our public language and how we want to keep our kids away from that, and yet another interpreted things predominantly along class lines. I don't think anyone sets out to be insensitive or insulting, I think we just sometimes see things very, very differently. As I discussed with one mom recently, rather than despair over this, I guess it gets to be my job to bring these things to light. I do wish I had handled things differently, but I'm glad I said the things that I did, because they needed to be said. As the lone ethnic minority member on the board, maybe it gets to be my job to say these things.

Some Asian parents recently toured the school and noticed that there were very few Asian students at ASCA, and commented on this. Given that our school initially drew from All Saints Episcopal Church, and then via word of mouth, it is understandable that the student body would be predominantly white. This is not surprising. Although we would love to think that students don't see color, and we are color blind, this is definitely not the way the world works.

This may or may not be news to you, but when you are an ethnic or racial minority, when you enter a new situation (a new school, a new workplace, a sporting event, a conference), you often immediately scan the room looking for others like you. You then make a mental note, "oh, not too many of my people here." Then you start to think about why. In some cases, this won't bother you, but in other cases it will. When I attended the UCR MESA family engineering night at UCR with my children on Ash Wednesday, I immediately noticed that (a) the only other people with ashes on their foreheads were the other latinos at the latino engineering table and (b) in a city where over 50% of the students are of hispanic/latino descent, I absolutely did not see much representation of that community. I made a mental note to ask the organizers if they could please do more to reach out to these communities.

I'm sure that ethnic and racial minority parents make the same observations when they visit Carden. While it may not be a deciding factor, it may influence them in their decision. It may trouble them, much as it often troubles me. For as much as we'd like our school and our culture to be color blind, I'm afraid that we just aren't there yet. I'd like to make the drive to have ASCA be more inclusive not only socio-economically but also racially and ethnically a top priority. I'd like to have it go hand-in-hand with discussions about tuition, but more importantly, in discussions about our vision for the school and our long-term plans for ASCA.

Similarly, financial aid must be a top priority. If we wish to continue to have the children of teachers, clerks and working people be able to access the wonderful opportunities of ASCA, finacial aid cannot be something worked out in private, on a case-by-case basis. It has to be stated up front, right next to tuition costs. I was lamenting to an All Saints parishioner that unlike other well-established schools, we do not have a giant endowment that would allow us to offer financial aide. When we do receive large gifts, they necessarily need to go to improvements of the physical plan that are absolutely necessary when the school is growing. I wished out loud that someone would drop $100,000 on us that we could use the interest (admittedly, very little interest nowadays) to subsidize tuition for those academically deserving but financially strapped students. While I think this is unlikely, the parisioner mentioned that maybe we could get 10 donations of $10,000. Or maybe, parisioners would be willing to pitch in $25 a month or so, enough to provide partial or full scholarships for deserving students.

While I absolutely agree that tuition increases are necessary (something I noted in my original blog post), I suppose that I was just disappointed that there was not a universal concern that we were going to leave some people behind and the implications of this move. I was hoping that someone would pipe up and say, "hey! you know it feels like tuition is eventually going to reach $1000 a month. Can someone make a motion that we discuss financial aid? and while we're at it, a plan to increase racial and ethnic diversity would be great. can we discuss this at a future meeting?" Then we could all go home to our families and weekend plans. Since I didn't hear it at that meeting (though I have heard it since from a variety of parents and parishioners), I guess I'd like to make that motion. I understand that opening my big mouth probably means that I'll be in charge of it. I can accept that.

What I cannot accept is being quiet and not speaking about my concerns. Again, putting it out on a blog post was perhaps not the most diplomatic way to address things, but it certainly got people talking. It perhaps also got some things onto the discussion board that might not have been there otherwise. It got some people, including me, to do some very necessary soul-searching. I don't hate my kids' school. I'm not planning on leaving. and unless I am the subject of unmitigrated vitriol at the next board meeting, I'm not planning on leaving that either. someone needs to speak up. might as well be me.

had to get this off of my chest

I struggled with the decision to send my children to private school. I felt guilty about it. I still feel plenty guilty about it. But now it's so much more complicated. Because once again, race and class issues rear their ugly heads. but more about that later.

What really cemented my decision to send my child to a private school was a visit to Alcott Elementary where the principal told me that before they could raise the roof (raise academic expectations), they first had to level the floor. In other words, my child would be forced to tread water academically while other children, who came to school with less preparation, built their foundation. I didn't think that was fair. I remember being bored in school A LOT (at least, until I took my first AP course in high school) and I just didn't want that for my child. Her school now allows her to achieve academically in the fields she likes best, and she's not forced to wait for anyone to catch up. From an instructional point of view, she's also not held captive to the CST test, pacing chart, two-part standards and all of the rest of the rigamarole that is part and parcel of public education today.

In my daughter's school, I found a small, loving community of wonderful parents, teachers and students. We became fast friends with a group of UCR religious studies professors whose kids were in kindergarten with our child. We went to the movies together and had BBQs in backyards. My child's class of 18 students doubled the size of the school. Now that I think about it, those were the halcyon days. I wish I had appreciated them. For, while it was a lovely time, it was not financially sustainable. Now the time has come to pay the piper, and for me to face some uncomfortable truths.

There is a waiting list for my child's school. From what I gathered, although we may indeed lose some families with next year's tuition increase, they will be easily replaced. What is not so easily replaced, I fear, is the economic diversity that those families provided. I am quite conflicted about this. I feel like I occupy a tenous middle-ground between the Junior League parents who thankfully patronize what we like to call "Babbo's House" and my fellow teachers, well-paid to be sure, but constantly asked to do more and more, for less and less money, every year. I fear how tuition increases will be received in their houses. Will they find the money? Will they "make it a priority" as one person put it? From what I understand, many are on the edge in terms of being able to afford tuition as it is.

But what I find especially troubling, and something that I only discussed with someone after the meeting, is that no one seemed especially concerned with preserving what little diversity the school currently has. I understand that in the market, a scarce commodity will demand higher prices. Those less able to pay, are unfortunately, pretty much SOL. No one mentioned maybe trying to come up with a scholarship program. Nobody was concerned that as our school becomes more and more the school of lawyers and doctors (God bless them all, we sure do need them), that it becomes less and less a school of teachers, office workers and clerks. In my opinion, this is not a good thing. When I made a comment that with every tuition increase, our school is looking less and less like its community, someone in the room responded with a scathing attack on the moral and ethical standards of our community. Given that I teach these very same students every day, I found it to be quite insulting. What was more troubling, however, is that no one stood up to contradict the statement. When no one speaks up, I think it's safe to say that people are either shocked into silence, or that they agree with the speaker. I went to the meeting and said my peace. I felt I had to say something. If I was the lone dissenting vote, then so be it.

I suppose I assumed that the rest of the people in the room were similarly troubled and concerned about the implications of making our school more elite, more expensive and more selective. I have spoken to other parents of color in the school and we feel similarly conflicted. We want to do what is best for our children, but we also realize that they must live in the broader, more diverse world. Are we doing them a disservice by insulating them from that reality? In my ideal world, any discussion of tuition increases would've included a drive to have a scholarship endowment. It would've included a plan to increase racial and ethnic diversity. It would've included a plan to go out and talk to, for example, the Hispanic chamber of commerce. There are Mexican lawyers out there, and they do have children! Unfortunately, I didn't hear any such conversation. The feeling I got from the room was that we have to do this. If people value this, they will pay for it. and if they can't, oh well, we have other people that will fill their spots. It's the cold hard economic reality of America. They are all probably right. But that doesn't mean that I have to like it.

I never intended to keep my child in private school forever. I found a school that I love, with teachers that I respect and admire that has provided a warm and friendly educational environment. I suppose that this week's events have taken the wool from my eyes. It's still a great school, the teachers are still fantastic, and the parents and kids are still top-notch. However, long-term, I'm realizing that it's not where I want my kids to be. I'd like my child to take classes with the smartest kids, whatever their socioeconomic status or color. It would make me particularly happy if that classroom was economically, racially and ethnically diverse. Because whether you like it or not, that's Riverside, California and that's America.

Discipline-and punish?

So this week's warm-up question for the Civil War was as follows: You are a parent, and your child has run away from home. When they are returned do you (a) punish them to make sure they know what they did was wrong or (b) accept them back with a promise that they will never do it again. it's such a fun discussion, because everyone has an opinion and some feel very strongly about it. kids always want to know what I would do.

and....you know I'm going with (b). I refuse to be made to feel bad about it. The next day, as I was off campus going to get lunch, I overheard a radio program with some guy talking about how spanking is so bad and how it is so damaging psychologically. I started yelling at the radio. Then I called the Chef and he was also listening to the radio and yelling at it. That made me feel better!

Because this is the paradox. On most issues (economic, social, political), I am exceedingly liberal. I support the rights of my LGBT brothers and sisters to marry the person they love. I am a Christian, but it is absolutely okay to me if you are not. I have never voted Republican. I believe in social justice. I am a feminist. and at the same time, I am resolutely old-fashioned when it comes to disciplining my kids and in my own classroom. I see too many parents who are trying to be their kids' friend. I see too many that let the kids rule the roost, only to discover when their kid reaches high school and starts to get into trouble, they their kid does not respect them. Kids are smart, and will figure out instantly if a parent is being inconsistent, or if they won't follow through.

I sympathize with these parents, I really do. Fundamentally, being a good parent is REALLY HARD! There are times when I'd just like to go the easy route; to give in to their demands or to just ignore inconvenient behavior. While in the short-term this is easier, in the long-term, the consequences are more serious. Good parenting and good discipline begin when the kids are TINY. It continues up through high school and college. In many ways, I suppose, it is never ending.

I am not trying to be my child's friend. I am not trying to negotiate with them, or explain my reasoning. In my opinion, the answer "because I am the mommy and I said so," is frequently acceptable. I don't have to explain everything. I am the grown-up. I have the Daddy backing me up. When you are an adult and can pay your own bills, then you can be in charge. Until then, I am the boss. Sounds draconian, doesn't it?

It works the same way in my classroom. With 36 students in my classroom, I don't have the time or energy to debate every directive with every student. If I tell you to change seats or to stop talking while I'm talking (which I find hugely disrespectful and profoundly irritating), I'm not going to debate it with you. I am not particularly concerned with your opinion at the moment. You'll do it because I am the teacher and because I said so.

Of course, I am not perfect, and I do make mistakes. I do tell my students that if decision of mine really bothers them, then they should talk to me after class, privately, and I'll willingly listen to what they have to say. Challenging me in front of the class, however, is always unacceptable and pretty much automatically results in an immediate trip to the detention hall. I will not stand for disrespect.

When I was a kid, my mom had a paddle in the kitchen that was inscribed with the phrase "for use on little Texans," ie, me! I think my mother would probably agree that she only had to use it on me a handful of times. Most of the time, she could keep me in line with her eyes (the stare of death), or with even the threat of using that paddle. She didn't actually have to paddle me. I knew it was there, I knew she would use it if necessary, and that knowledge alone pretty much kept me in check. I didn't suffer because I was spanked or paddled. I grew up with the knowledge that I had boundaries, and those boundaries were there for a reason. I still absolutely love and respect my parents. I see how some of my students talk to their parents, and I am horrified.

I see, every day, the results of parents who don't set boundaries for their kids. By the time they reach high school, and parents belatedly realize that maybe they should've been a little tougher with the discipline, it's too late. You can't put the genie back in the bottle. I think a lot of high school teachers would agree with me. Maybe I am an ogre who is doing irreparable harm to her children and students. That's the way I feel every time someone comes on the radio talking about "time outs" and other more "modern" forms of discipline. I suppose that in this case, I am more conservative. And that feels profoundly strange!

Plus, I am also thankful that I found a wonderful man who is perhaps even more liberal than I am (is that possible?), but who is also conservative when it comes to discipline. Maybe it is because we are both children of immigrants? Whatever the case, we make a good team. My parents definitely "have my back on this." So yeah, I spank my kids. and I'm not apologizing for it.

why I have 56 students in my 5th period class.

Apparently many of my non-k-12 teacher friends are unfamiliar with the concept of leveling (also called CBDS) in public schools. Let me take a moment to fill you in on the process. If you're not infuriated by the time I'm done, I will be greatly surprised.

As you may or may not know, school districts are reimbursed by the state via ADA (Average Daily Attendance) per student. The more students we have, the more sections of classes we are allocated. Site administration can then use those allocated sections to hire more teachers or (as they prefer to do) ask teachers to do "extended day," i.e. teach an extra section, giving up their prep period.

The trick is to get your numbers just right. Many students move away over the summer, and don't tell the school that is expecting them. We always expect a certain number of no-shows. Similarly, students move into the district and often don't show up until the first day of school. There is almost no way to predict what the balance between those two will be. Until we can actually get a week or so of actual classes underway, we really can't determine the actual number of "bodies in the seats," and then go back and ask for more sections/teachers.

Notice I said ask for more sections. Almost always, schools are under-allocated. For the school district, it is cheaper to run really large sections for an extended period of time (maximizing their current teacher productivity), and then wait until the last possible minute to actually hire more teachers and/or ask more teachers to do extended day. For the district, once you hire a teacher, it is very difficult to say "whoops! we were wrong! it turns out that we don't need you." So they would rather err on the side of caution and just jam pack our classes with students until such time that they are actually forced to hire more teachers.

By contract, the district has six weeks to level classes. For most teachers, this means that we have to deal with the uncertainty of not only large class sizes, but also with students that are coming and going, often on a day-to-day basis. By the time we reach the six week deadline, many students have had three or more teachers per subject. It is very difficult, to say the least, to build rapport with students who may or may not be there tomorrow, next week, or even next month. By the time leveling day arrives, you just never know who will still be in your classes. To say that this tampers with class morale would be an understatement.

Despite all of these obvious difficulties, we are still expected to teach our standards and administer our common assessments. Is it little surprise that our students lowest test scores are always on the very first assessment, i.e. the one that takes place before classes are leveled? Grading is also a nightmare when students have gone from one teacher to the next and often have not had a chance to turn anything in!

When you have so many students in a class, it necessarily changes the types of instruction that you can do. I had planned on doing an activity in class on Friday where we were going to practice moving our desks into different configurations that we're going to use throughout the year. I don't think that is going to be possible when students can't even literally move around the room!

What is really frustrating is that I know it does not have to be this way. Friends in other school districts tell me that their classes are leveled by the third week. It can be done. For whatever reason, in RUSD, six weeks is the deadline. It's always surprised me that parents put up with this nonsense. For six weeks, your child is in an over-crowded classroom, with his or her class schedule open to a complete change multiple times. Does this create a climate that encourages learning and bonding with a teacher and classmates? No, it does not. Parents should rise up against this. It hurts teachers, sure, but most importantly it hurts our students. and it does not need to be this way.

Fun Places to take the Kids Part II-CDMOD

CDMOD? What is that??

It stands for Children's Discovery Museum of the Desert, it is one hour away, and it is, outside of Legoland, perhaps our favorite place to go.

but it's an hour away! That's so far!

why, yes it is. However, I would like to point out that it's an EASY drive. Compared to going to Pasadena or Los Angeles, there is very little traffic. Driving out to the desert is relatively stress-free, unless you decide you want to go out there on a Friday afternoon, in which case I would seriously question your sanity.

Anyway, back to CDMOD. We started coming to this museum in 2007 and have been regulars ever since. The first thing you notice is the reasonable admission price; just $8 a person. We have traditionally gone the membership route, since it is only $25 per person (after three visits, it's FREE!) and that includes four guest passes, which I usually use to bring Grandma or Grandpa along for the ride. The weather in the winter is fabulous, obviously, so we try to come during Thanksgiving vacation, Christmas, and then a few times afterwards.

While this museum is smaller than Kidspace in Pasadena, is packs a lot of fun into a small footprint. For my kids, the enduring favorites are the grocery store and the pizza parlor. Even now, my big 8 year-old girl LOVES to make pizzas and my tomato STILL loves to push a shopping cart around the grocery store. They even have aprons for kids to work the cash register and pretend money at the ATM. For some reason, kids find pretend grocery stores to be incredibly fun. Even when he was barely 1 1/2 years old, my Tomato loved the grocery store and would play forever.

Upstairs there is a fabulous dress-up room that has stuff for boys and girls. I began to worry that when my big girl's foot actually began to fit the shoes in the dress up area that she would decide she was too big for it, but no! She still loves to wear the hats and jewelry and glittery dresses, while my Tomato becomes a construction worker or fireman. They are definitely into their gender roles, what can I say??

There is a great toddler area adjacent to the grocery store and pizza area, for parents who want to keep an eye on both kids. The main floor has a vet's office (always a big hit), an art area, an area where you can paint a VW bug (kids LOVE this, go figure), some more advanced construction stuff for older kids, plus a plethora of hands-on play manipulatives. There is not too much outside yet, but they are in the middle of construction as I write this and so hopefully this part will improve. For now, outside is a good place to eat snacks or lunch under the covered awnings, or just to run and shake off some energy before getting back in the car to go home.

and if you don't feel like packing a picnic lunch, there is an In-n-Out burger right by the freeway on-ramp!!

Really, I can't say enough good things about CDMOD. It's one of our favorite places, and we go a lot. If it was closer, we'd go more often.....

Fun Places to Take Kids Part I-Kidspace

One of the benefits of being a teacher, is that I get summers off with the kids! I am always looking for fun, inexpensive excursions for us, and going to a lot of kid/science museums is always high up on the priority list. Kidspace Museum in Pasadena is one of our favorites.

We'd go to Kidspace more often, but it is a solid hour's drive from Riverside. Having said that, it is definitely a worthwhile excursion.

Having a 5 year old and an 8 year old is sometimes difficult, in that the older one can actually read and understand the exhibit information, whereas the little one mostly wants to climb and manipulate things. What I like about Kidspace is that there is plenty to please both kids, often in the exact same exhibit. Kidspace has multiple climbing towers, which if you read the descriptions, actually have some science and knowledge behind them. While my big girl reads (and climbs) the Tomato is busy climbing up and down and wearing off some of his energy. The inside space has exhibits on insects, a functioning beehive, stuff on the environment and a really cool room with minerals and other tactile objects to manipulate. However, the outside part is great too, with a construction zone, more climbing objects, gardens, a tricycle track, environmental exhibits and plenty of water play. We may have spent as much or even more time outside than inside.

If you have a toddler, there is a section of the museum just for little ones. The first time we went to this museum, my Tomato was still 2 or 3, so I dropped him off with Grandpa in this section and we didn't see them at all until lunch! I'm not sure exactly what play options are in there, but apparently it was lots of fun. The Tomato rejoined us when we went to the outside exhibits, mostly because there were lots of opportunities to climb and run amuck, two of his passions in life.

The museum has absolutely FABULOUS eating options with healthy snacks, but it is also located in the park adjacent to the Rose Bowl, so there are many places inside and out to eat a picnic lunch under mature, beautiful trees. Another advantage to its location in a park is that before you hit the car for the big drive back home, you can always have the kids hit the nearby playground for a last ditch attempt to wear off some of that energy.

Perhaps the only thing I don't like about Kidspace is that it is NOT cheap. At $10 a person (kids AND adults), it can turn into an expensive outing, once you add in the price of gas and food. Combined with the drive from Riverside, it definitely turns into an excursion. These are the reasons we don't go more often, but when we do go, we thoroughly enjoy it.

Why do I hate Justin Bieber?

I was thinking about my knee-jerk reaction to the proliferation of all things Bieber. Why, exactly, do I love to hate him? He's just a kid, singing innocuous love songs to a bunch of screaming teenaged girls, right??

Nope. I'd argue that he is symptomatic of a larger change in the music industry that I find disheartening. He's not an artist. He's a product.

1. I will just say straight out that I MUCH prefer singer songwriters to people who have great talent, but who sing the songs of others. Bob Dylan and Neil Young are not gifted vocally, but they WRITE THEIR OWN SONGS and I think that is awesome. The music is coming from their hearts and souls, not from some paid songwriter. Somehow I don't feel that Bieber is writing many of his own songs at this point, and even if he did, the things he would write about would probably not speak to me. They might speak to your average teenager, but I doubt they are songs that will live in pop consciousness for too long.

2. This kind of goes back to reason one, but you can be gifted vocally and maybe even be a great dancer, but if your singing doesn't tell me something about your experience, or connect to a greater humanity, then I'm just not as enthusiastic about you. Take, for example, Christina Aguilera. She has a tremendous voice. However, I don't think that any of her albums have given me a glimpse into her soul. She's a songbird. I don't get any sense of who she is. With each music release, she changes style with whatever producer she has chosen. Adele, or Amy Winehouse, or Neko Case, however, are singers AND songwriters who, though they work with producers, put out music that is embedded with their souls, their stories, their heartache and their triumph. When they sing, you feel it. The downside with this, is of course sometimes those demons overcome the artist (hello Kurt Cobain and Amy Winehouse), but not always. The best music, is universal because it speaks to the human experience. Of course, not all music need to save the world. We can't all be Midnight Oil. There is room in life for silly pop songs that make you want to dance (hello Katy Perry!). But can't there be great pop music that is catchy, well-written AND musically relevant?

3. Pop music has always been susceptible to it (as has most dance music), but I rue the rise of the super producer over the last few years. This tends to go in cycles, of course, as producer-dominated disco once ruled the charts for a time. The new Katy Perry is an example of a hugely catchy CD (and yes, she co-writes her songs), but it's also put together by some of the best producers/songwriters in the business. The fact that I know the names of Dr. Luke, the Smeezingtons and RedOne, is disappointing because really, the names of the artist should be more predominant! There for awhile, when the Neptunes duo were hot, you could hear their songs on the radio in an instant. They all had a similar style, and the vocalists were essentially interchangeable. That bothers me. The vocalists, the artists should not be interchangeable!! Shouldn't they be singing their songs, shaping their stories? Perhaps with an assist with a producer or songwriter (Adele wrote her song Turning Tables with a great songwriter who is also an evangelical Christian, but that's another story), but their own vision should be first and foremost! Otherwise they are not really artists, they are product. They are Christina Aguilera. Or Demi Lovato.

4. Finally, Bieber is symptomatic of a music industry that needs to permeate all corners of pop culture with their product. It's not enough to have a song on the radio. You have to have your own iPhone app, movie, soda, clothing line, perfume etc. Now that people aren't buying music anymore, it's understandable that the music industry would move in this direction. However, when a gigantic multinational corporation is putting together these lines (look! It's the new Selena Gomez perfume!), it just strikes me as so artificial. When the Disney juggernaut decides to put its corporate weight behind a music group (The Jonas Brothers), all of a sudden they become ubiquitous. All of a sudden it's not so much about the music as it is about the product and product diversification. Ironically, the Jonas Brothers are actually pretty good musicians and I don't hate them. Have you noticed, however, how little we've been hearing about them lately? Has the Disney Corporate juggernaut passed them by??

Maybe, ultimately, that's what bothers me about Bieber and his ilk; music as product rather than expression. In today's quickly changing landscape, I realize that musicians can't rely on music sales to make their living. They need to diversify, license their songs to be played in Carl's Jr.s and Mc Donald's and sell lots of t-shirts. I guess I just prefer it when an artist's expression is their own, and not that of a corporate board that is trying to extract maximum profit from a product (Bieber) that has a limited shelf life.

yes, I know. I think way too much about music. This is what happens when you have WAY too much post-graduate education and suffer from a life-long obsession with music.

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I worry about my girl

because I read an article today about a spread in French Vogue featuring a 10 year old girl. A very beautiful little girl, but she is TEN YEARS OLD! WHAT in the world were her parents thinking? What was the editor thinking?

I realize that there are a lot of moms out there that love to take their daughters for mani/pedis, make up lessons and fashion shows. God bless those moms and the jobs that they support, but

I AM NOT ONE OF THOSE MOMS!

The window of girl hood is getting ever smaller and smaller. I love the fact that my girl still loves to go outside and hunt for insects. She doesn't care that her nails get dirty. I love that she still plays "pretend that...." with her little brother. I love that when she dances, she's not trying to imitate any TV star, but just runs around moving to her own muse. I love that she is completely at ease with her body. I know that I can't keep her in my protective bubble forever, but I am clinging desperately to these last few years of little girlhood because I know what's coming. We ALL know what's coming.

Can we please try and keep our kids from growing up so fast? Can we keep them still enjoying the simple pleasures in life, like playing with water hoses and hunting for roly-polys? Can they stay girls for just a bit longer? Really, folks, they have the rest of their lives to put on make-up, worry about their nail polish and strut around in low-rise pants. She doesn't need Vogue to rush her along that path.

music, music, music

a few years ago, at a staff in-service, the teachers had to take one of those tests that purported to show our favored learning style. The PE folks were obviously bodily-kinesthetic (learn by doing, moving around), the arts people were visual, the language arts folks were verbal etc. Interestingly, I scored high in music, second only to the choir teacher. Which is interesting and all, but why would I feel compelled to share this really trivial and uninteresting factoid?

It all goes back to the U2 concert last night.

Last night, to be honest, I wasn't so excited about going to the concert. You know when you see couples at a concert and you can tell which person is REALLY the fan and which one is there as the date? Well, I expected to be "the date."

And then we got to the show.

I had forgotten the feeling, the literal feeling of the bass line as it courses through your body.

I had forgotten the emotions that a song can evoke; the feeling of where you were when you heard it first, who you were dating, how it made you feel.

I had forgotten how much U2 was a part of my youth. The baby boomers had the Stones. We had U2. The Joshua Tree. Achtung Baby. and so many more.

I had forgotten how much music can make you move, make you dance in a way that sometimes feels completely out of your control.

I had forgotten the powerful feeling of singing a song together with tens of thousands of other people, sounding like the most awesome choir in the world. You are singing in unison, a song that-at the risk of sounding horribly corny-makes you feel like you can change the world and that you are....one.

Really, I think I had forgotten how important music is to me, and how much I miss it. Singing along to Lady Gaga while I cook dinner is not enough. I'm going to join the choir at church. That should help. I think I'm going to have to start working on some scales and playing some more piano. My music theory is really rusty. And maybe, just maybe, I will indulge my secret dream to play drums. There might not be money for that right away, but that's a goal. I think last night's concert just reminded me that there is an important part of my soul that I have been neglecting. Feeding my musical soul is just as important as the food I make every night. At my age, I know I'm not going to change the world with my song. Hopefully, however, I'll make my world a little happier and hopefully spread some joy around.

Summer! It was the best of times, it was the worst of times

Since Memorial Day marks the unofficial beginning of summer, I thought I'd jot down some of my thoughts about summer. Feel free to add your own bests and worsts:

1. best thing about summer-not having to work!

1. worst thing about summer-having my kids around me ALL DAY is really tiring!

2. best-swimming! It's free and it's fun! as a bonus, it totally wears the kids out.

2. worst-always having to search for the shady spot whenever we go out, realizing they've already been taken by giant SUVs and then resigning myself to cracking the windows and putting up the sunshade.

3. best-fun and FREE programs at the library.

3. worst-TOTALLY inadequate parking at the Main library downtown. Now that we have the newer, bigger Marcy Branch, I doubt I'll be going to downtown very often.

4. best-no more packing lunches! hooray!

4. worst-now I have to cook lunch AND dinner! Sometimes I feel like my entire day is prepping/cooking/cleaning, wait a few hours, then repeat. ad infinitum.

5. best-excursions to fun, slightly faraway kid attractions like Kidspace in Pasadena or the Discovery Cube in Santa Ana.

5. worst-having to brave traffic and gas prices, or paying hefty metrolink fares and doubled travel times. hmmmmmm.

6. best-being able to take late-night walks around the neighborhood and not worrying about getting home because we have to get up early the next day for school.

6. worst-any semblance of a schedule goes completely out the window. I love my schedules.

7. best-the abundance of fresh fruit means that we have the time and fresh produce to make delicious popsicles and ice cream.

7. worst-the constant whining for snacks and aforementioned popsicles and ice cream!

8. best-more chances to go to LEGOLAND!

8. worst-other people are also on vacation, clogging up our beloved park. Though it hasn't reached Disneyland levels of crowdedness, it has come close.

9. best-really juicy and delicious summer tomatoes.

9. worst-really horrific heat and don't get me started in the air quality.

10. best-not worrying about the roof on my 81 year-old house leaking! Even if you don't see it, you know it's leaking somewhere.

10. worst-worrying about the air conditioning bill!

NCLB: the good, the bad and the UGLY

We have all been living with NCLB (No Child Left Behind) for so long, that it's beginning to get hard to remember that there was ever a time before the current obsession with standardized testing. My first day at Arlington High School, I was given a set of keys, a teacher textbook and was thereafter pretty much left on my own. I set my own pacing, made my own lesson plans and tests. Ha! Those were the days!

A bunch of teachers all working in relative isolation, however, is not necessarily the best environment for students at the high school level. Although I very much resent a lot of the requirements and implications of NCLB, I think some of it really has been good for me and for the general profession of teaching. However, a great deal of it is misguided at best, and downright damaging at worst. First, let's turn to the good stuff.

Riverside Unified School District (RUSD) many years ago bought into the whole Professional Learning Communities (PLC) idea of education. Originated by some guy in the midwest (where schools have a lot more money, smaller class sizes and more homogenous student population, but never mind that!) whose bright idea was that ideas for change needed to be generated by teacher-led groups, with teachers determining what needed to be done and how. My PLC has four US history teachers, with everyone represented, from AP students to English Learners and Special Ed. I really, really enjoy working with colleagues, sharing ideas, devising common assessments and coming up with ideas to help our students. It's such a big change from what I encountered when I first began teaching. Getting out of our classrooms and together with other teachers has been, on the whole, a great change. PLC would not have happened with NCLB, so in this respect, NCLB rocks.

NCLB and it's close cousin the CST/API (state tests and state test ranking), reward schools more for bringing the lowest performing groups (English Learners, Special Ed, low socio-economic status) up and reward less for bringing up the scores of the highest kids, like GATE or AP. Given that AP parents tend to be the most involved in the school (squeaky wheel gets the grease!), historically their kids would often receive a disproportionate share of school resources. Those whose parents were too busy working, or unaware of what their kids could receive in school, often got ignored. You hardly heard a word about English Learners when I first began at Arlington in 1998. Now you know who they are, their level of English proficiency and are constantly showered with ideas on how to raise their test scores. Although I know I wouldn't be happy about this new allocation of time and resources if I had an AP kid at the high school level (or GATE kid at the elementary school level), I think it is a positive thing to help those kids who need our help the most. I do not believe our focus would've shifted to these sub-groups were it not for the pressure to raise test scores fostered by the rise of NCLB.

Ok, so how bad is NCLB? Where to begin? the list is so long, and the complaints so numerous, they could easily be (and have been) the subject of book-length treatises. I will focus my enmity on perhaps the most significant aspect of it; i.e. the never-ending obsession with test scores.

CST (California Standards test), at least at the high school level, are administered over the course of two weeks, just after spring break. In practical terms, this means that while we once had an entire YEAR to teach our curriculum, we now have to cram it all into three quarters. Once testing is over, we pretty much have the rest of the school year (6-8 weeks) to do whatever we want. CSTs are over, so no one really cares.

Besides the obvious time crunch this pacing chart (racing chart?) imposes, it directly impacts classroom instruction in that it discourages more in-depth, project-based assessments (i.e. what we used to call "authentic assessments") in favor of more direct instruction and multiple-choice common assessments. In the past, I would often have students complete projects (e.g. skits, metaphor posters), as a way to show me what they knew. Kids who might never score well on a multiple choice exam (creative kids, special ed. kids, english learners) would then get a chance to show me what they DID know, versus an exam which only pointed out what they didn't know. Unfortunately, these projects are not a comfortable fit with the new educational paradigm because they are (a) very time intensive and (b) not as easily quantifiable as a multiple choice exam. I used to do projects at the end of every unit, but unfortunately this year I've had a chance to only do one. This is the bad of NCLB. So what is the ugly?

Now that standardized common assessments are the primary vehicle for measuring student achievement, the pressure has come down on teachers to raise the percentage of our final grade that comes from testing. Only a few years ago, if a kid tried on their classwork, homework and projects, they could do poorly on tests, but still be able to pass my class. Unfortunately this is no longer the case. We have all been pressured to raise test scores to at least 40% (in my case) or up to 80% of the final grade. As one administrator pointed out, how can a kid pass your class, even while doing poorly on his tests? He obviously isn't mastering the material. If he isn't passing our assessments, then he certainly won't do well on the CSTs. Heck, last year they even had us plot our grade distribution on a chart with our CST scores to see if they aligned. So really, instruction and grading are all driven by CSTs.

This is especially unfortunate for the special ed student, the creative student, the student who just doesn't do well on tests. I have had special ed kids that could tell me (or draw for me) everything I wanted to know about the age of imperialism, but who will never, ever be able to ace a test. It's not a question of intelligence or "high incidence academic vocabulary." This makes me so, so very sad for my special ed kids who work their rear ends off trying to get at least a "C" for me, and every test they take is dismal. They do know their stuff, but the system is working against them. It's so frustrating for them and for me. Given the pressure coming from all levels to tighten down on teaching, teachers and test-taking, I don't see this changing any time soon. I predict that within the next ten years, at least part of my raise and/or evaluations will be tied to CST scores. And a lot of the joy of teaching is being slowly leached away.

It's pretty much mostly in the 4th quarter, when the pressure is off, that I get to experiment with different types of lessons, different types of "authentic assessment" projects that I don't have the time to do during the rest of the year. Other than the pro forma district common assessment that I have to administer at the end of the year, I can pretty much structure the pacing, depth and scope of my instruction for those blessed six weeks. it's utterly exhilarating and simultaneously really tragic, because it's the kind of teaching I'd like to do all year long! They say that educational philosophy goes in cycles, but I don't see this cycle of test-obsession and NCLB driven mania changing or fading away any time soon. That makes me really sad. I wish I was wrong about it, but I think I'm right.

public v. private school, first in a series

For a few weeks now, since a bunch of my friends seemingly simultaneously moved their kids from public school to Chiara and Mario's private school, I have been dealing with a nagging fear that I am at least partly responsible for white flight from our public schools. I think the issues are more than I can address in one blog post. So I am going to confront the various issues one-by-one and hopefully a common theme will emerge.

Topic #1 Class size matters. A lot!

At a kid birthday party this last weekend, I got to talking to another mom and it turns out that she's a kindergarten teacher at a school in the area. Her school is 99% free and reduced-lunch (which is another story entirely, but we'll get to race, class and SES/Socio-economic status later), and she has personally dealt with not only being repeatedly pink-slipped, but also class sizes that have grown from 20 to nearly 30 just within the last few years. She told me that her original plan was to send her son to public schools, but then class sized increased. As she put it, "once they went to 29? No way! I know how my kids are!" So now her son is in kindergarten at Carden, benefiting from a class size of....12?

"But wait!" some would argue. What about teacher training and quality? That is another tough topic and one that I will leave for another post.

Ask ANY teacher in any school and they will tell you that absolutely class size is critical, but I cannot even begin to convey with words how significant the effect is in those critical first few years of education. Most people in education can tell you that K-2 are the most important grades because that is when a kid really needs to learn how to read. Many kids face HUGE drops in their grades after that time, because it is in the 3rd grade where you stop learning how to read and start reading for comprehension. This is a critical change. Studies show that if a student is not reading at grade level by grade 3, they will never read at grade level. They just fall further and further behind. Grades K-2 lay the foundation for ALL the learning that follows. In a class of 20, a single teacher can be fairly sure that she (and it's almost always a she) has worked with each student. This is especially important when you have many different levels in the same classroom, i.e. kids who are already reading mixed in with kids who don't speak English and/or have never had a book read to them. The varying ability levels is another topic for yet another day, but suffice to say that when class sizes increase even by 5, the teacher just has that much less time to get to all the kids. A friend of mine told me that she feels like she has to work with the lowest kids, that the top kids will take care of themselves, but that it's the kids in the middle who get lost. Do we want any kids to get lost in this shuffle??

I have 36 kids in almost every one of my classes right now, and of course I would LOVE to have smaller classes, but really, at the secondary level, we are dealing with the survivors. By the time they get to me, a great many kids have dropped out and/or gone to alternative schools. Half of the kids who start school as Freshmen are not there by their Senior year. This is yet another subject for another post, but my point is that our resources really need to be focused on elementary education and especially on class size. Now that kids are being pressed to do so much at earlier ages (hey! yet another topic!), and are coming to school with such wildly varying levels of preparation, the dismantling of class size reduction is such a tragedy.

This is one topic where my public school advocate friends are going to lose; smaller class sizes matter. and please don't tell me that parent volunteers can make up all the difference! They make a difference in neighborhoods where you have middle-class or affluent parents (not to mention literate parents!) who can afford to take the time out of their day to go into the classroom to read or otherwise work with kids. This type of community involvement is of course what we need to help fill the gap, but it cannot completely make up for an elementary school classroom teacher who is stretched to her limits. I'm sure it is significant in some schools where that type of participation is strong, but it is definitely not apparently in all schools. The kindergarten teacher friend tells me that at her school, they essentially have to bribe parents to show up to school events by offering free food. Otherwise they won't show up. I have a feeling that parental involvement at this school is not going to help close the gap that was opened when class sizes went from 20 to 30.

I know that Governor Brown's budget proposals are tough and I know that community redevelopment personally helped me financially (the city of Riverside guaranteed our loan to move downtown), but in an economy that demands tough choices, I really think that elementary school education should get the highest priority. Increasing class sizes make sense economically in the short-term, but I am afraid that the long-term implications will be disastrous.

Okay, now that I've thrown this bomb down, think about where and why you send your kids to school. why class size matters. and why, as a society, we don't seem willing to pay for it.

have these children never seen real food?

I've noticed over the last few weeks, since I've been making an effort to pack more of my own snacks and lunches, that my students are inordinately fascinated with what I am eating. When I bust out my ak-mak crackers and laughing cow cheese, they ALL want to try them. I guess anything that isn't a Dorito or Goldfish must seem strange and exotic. And my yogurt? They have never heard of Greek Yogurt and are highly skeptical of my statement that I make my own. They seem confused that it's not brightly colored and doesn't extrude from a tube. And when I break out my actual lunch (chili, soup, lasagne), they ALL have to take a gander at it and wonder aloud how it tastes.

I am no culinary genius. It's not like my lunches have been torn from the pages of some fancy cooking magazine. I'm not doing anything special. What I am doing, however, is actually cooking.

I know I'm beginning to sound like a broken record here, folks, but I sometimes feel like some of my students are deprived of good food. I don't think they suffer from hunger (we do have a HUGE line of kids waiting for free breakfast and lunch), but I do think they suffer from very limited horizons. I wish there was something I could do to expand those horizons.

Why do I hate New Year's Eve?

and just about every other major holiday?

Because I am married to a chef.

I also intensely dislike Valentine's Day and Mother's Day.

Why?

For most people, these dates are reason for celebration ("I love you mom!"), but for me, they are a reminder that my Chef will be stressed out, busy, and will work A LOT. Of all the holidays, however, I think New Year's Eve may be the worst, mostly because of the logistics of the evening. The Chef is up and out of the house early on the 31st, making last-minute tweaks to the menu (because OF COURSE he can never have it settled and ready ahead of time) and prepping like a mad man. The stress will have occupied his head since at least December 26th. He will not fully be able to relax until the night is over.

If I went to the restaurant, I'd be doing a lot of hanging out, trying to stay out of the way of the paying customers and just doing a lot of ....waiting! The Chef will be too busy to talk to me until just before New Year's Eve when he'll come out briefly to kiss me and then go back into the kitchen to celebrate with his other family; the guys in the kitchen. Unless I have particularly stellar company, it's mostly a night of feeling lonely, because EVERYONE else is in a couple, or at least with the one that they love. Yes, the Chef is nearby, but he is busy and really doesn't have time to come out and hold my hand, if you know what I mean. Then he will sleep for half of the day on the 1st. In the meantime, I will wear myself out trying to keep the kids quiet so that the Chef can sleep until at least noon. He'll wake up for awhile, eat, read the paper and then fall back asleep around 4:00 p.m.. This routine is so ingrained, I can practically set my watch to it.

I know this post sounds really whiny. After all, I knew he was a chef when I married him and I knew what kind of life I'd be leading with him. It is no coincidence that the kids call the restaurant "Babbo's house"! However, in this economy, it really is a blessing to have work! I am thankful that we are busy and that the Chef isn't worrying about no one coming out to eat tonight. Still, New Year's Eve for me is more a signal that after a very long and busy month of December, I will finally be getting my husband back! Tonight is the last major night of the holiday (and major money-making) season, and tomorrow we will begin the process of getting our family back together. I miss my husband. The kids miss their Babbo. Everyone else can go ahead and party on New Year's Eve. As for me, I'll take a relaxing New Year's Day with the Chef awake, lucid, at home with his family any day.......

Cooking Light weeknight dinners? yes, please!

These last two weeks have been just awful in terms of getting home in time to prepare healthy foods for the family. We ate out far more often than I'd like to admit. One solution to the time crunch has been to use my slow cooker more often. Although it brings back unpleasant childhood memories for Leone, I'm going to make chili this week.

I also bought a new Cooking Light cookbook. It's called "Fresh Food Fast: weeknight meals," and although it goes against some of my food purist impulses (more about this later), so far it's looking promising. I made the first recipe tonight, Italian Beef and Polenta casserole and it was a big hit. I used 6% ground beef, although you could certainly use ground turkey. I also used two zucchini, which made me feel better about the dish. next time I could probably throw a lot more vegetables in, since Chiara pronounced the zucchini bits quite tasty.

Mind you, Chiara ate the dish after initially making gagging sounds when she first looked at it. Yeah, that's an encouraging sign! Of course my tomato wouldn't come near it, but I never expected him to. He ate an apple, two wedges of laughing cow cheese and a tortilla, so he's good. What a strange, strange child. Chiara was initially not all that crazy about the polenta in the recipe, but then she got over it when I showed her how to mix it with the beef. Then she was quite excited about it. I also pointed out to her that polenta is really the food equivalent of her heritage; i.e. indigenous corn with an Italian twist!

As I mentioned earlier, this recipe does violate some of my food purist impulses. It calls for a jar of spaghetti sauce. I used Classico garlic, because I firmly believe that you cannot have too much garlic. It also called for a sliced up tube of polenta. I know I can get it from the restaurant for free (not to mention tastier and more authentic), but in a pinch, those polenta tubes are sure convenient! I didn't chop any tomatoes or onion. It all came together surprisingly easily. The dish was pretty darn fast, certainly easy, and made six servings. Next time I'll use less beef and put i more vegetables. If I had to work tomorrow, the leftovers would probably be pretty darn tasty. Next up is spaghetti with zucchini and cannellini beans. Hopefully that will be successful too-and just as easy!

Harry Potter-you know you are over-educated when

as you re-read book four of the Harry Potter series, you can't help but marvel at the depth of the false consciousness of the house elves. They are just so darn happy slaving away and serving their masters, you're almost a little upset with Hermione for suggesting living wages and a 40-hour work week (exhibit A: Winky)! I wonder how many Marxist studies courses Jo Rowling took in college? hmmmmmm

Jessica Seinfeld's cookbook was NOT a complete waste

because although the overwhelming majority of her recipes I tried were HORRIBLE, I did come away with one good idea. I call them "sneaky baked potatoes."

This is the idea. It's so amazingly simple.
Chop up a head of cauliflower and steam it until it's soft. Puree it in a food processer, adding water as necessary, until the cauliflower has a smooth, mashed potato like consistency. Do you see where I'm going with this?

bake your potatoes, then scoop out 90% of the potato pulp. Save it for another use.
Now mix 10% of the potato into a bowl with the cauliflower, adding salt, butter etc to your taste. Then spread the mixture into the shells of the baked potato, pop it back into the oven for a few minutes and serve! We top ours with cheese and steamed broccoli.

the kids will get a good dose of vegetables, some obvious and some not-so-obvious.

so simple, right??

Unfortunately the overwhelming majority of the Seinfeld cookbook was absolutely awful (Chef points out that you should not buy a cookbook from a celebrity. point taken), but the idea of hidden cauliflower has proven surprisingly useful.

and PLEASE don't tell me that my kids should love vegetables on their own, that I shouldn't hide them, blah blah blah.
yes, some kids are surprisingly adventurous and will eat anything. and then there are others that just....won't. I've got one of each. So sometimes, yes, I sneak in veggies. I refuse to feel ashamed of this. I hope that one day, my kids will appreciate the beauty of cauliflower on its own, but in the meantime, sneaky baked potatoes make me feel better and make them happy. It's a win-win situation, don't you think?

three kitchen appliances that I love

now that I am thinking about it, it's kind of irrational that I love these three small kitchen appliances so much, but they really do make my life SO much easier. Now that I'm working full-time again, it's even more important to be organized and have my appliances do as much of the work for me as possible!

1. My yogurt maker is the BEST. Yes, I know you can make it in the crock-pot, but my crock-pot is otherwise occupied right now. We here at Casa Palagi are crazy about yogurt, and especially greek yogurt, so this was a very good investment. I'm making yogurt right now that later I'll strain into greek yogurt, but because of his handy-dandy machine, it's all MUCH less expensive and pretty darn convenient. Sadly, I have run out of Sage Mountain Farms organic locally-made strawberry jam, so I guess I'll have to flavor our yogurt with something else.....

2. My crock pot is making baked potato soup right now and my house smells wonderful! This last week was extra busy and we ate out WAY too much. It's time to bust out the crock pot and have a nice meal waiting for us when we get home from our various extra-curricular activities.

3. It is now the one-year anniversary of me buying myself my wonderful kitchen aid mixer for Christmas. Merry Christmas to me! Now that I have it, I'm not sure how I ever lived without it! Sure, it would be nice to have it in fire-engine red (from Sur la Table, I think), but it has helped me make countless muffins, cupcakes, breads etc despite the fact that it is plain white. I love it.

I must also note the presence of my slowly dying kitchen cabinet undermount iPod/radio stereo. I don't think I could cook without having access to NPR and/or good music from my iPod!

making a wreath, checking it twice......

So we're making Advent wreaths at church today and that brings back a lot of memories.

When I was a kid, Sunday nights were VERY important, because those were the nights we lit the candles on our advent wreath! We went from youngest to oldest, so I lit the first candle on the first Sunday, then my brother, then mom and dad. At the time, I just was anxious for all the Sundays to pass, all the candles to be lit and for Christmas (and Santa!) to get here already!! I don't think I paid a lot of attention to the prayers.

Now, of course, I see things a little differently. Now, I am looking at the Advent wreath as an opportunity to continue a tradition with my children. Apparently not so many people do the wreath nowadays, and I think that's kind of sad. Well, not so many people are eating dinner together, so maybe that explains part of it, but I think a lot has to do with our busy, hurried lives. To light the advent wreath, you should really all be sitting down together, preferably over a nice dinner! You should think about the prayers, think about the loved ones surrounding you, and reflect on the blessings in your life. Our daily lives are so filled with stress, that I think the Advent wreath is a nice throw-back to a simpler, more family-oriented time.

So make an Advent wreath this year and see if you can start a new tradition! Or at the very least, at some point during the holidays, just try to sit down and have dinner together with your loved ones. As Martha Stewart would say, "it's a good thing."

the times they are a-changin'....

So today I hosted an "organizational" meeting of Arlington's first Gay-Straight Alliance Club and we had a pretty good turnout. I had a small sign up in my own room and a special ed/theater teacher spread the word a bit (thanks Merica!), which was NOT a lot of publicity, but we still managed to get 13 really spirited and fun kids in my room at lunch time without even the lure of food or Lady Gaga!
The sign in my classroom prompted very little commentary. A couple of kids asked what a GSA was and reacted with "ugh" or "gross," to which I replied "then don't come to our meeting." One girl asked if the club was legal! However, I had many more kids ask me if they could join and could I please not make the regular meetings on Thursdays, because that conflicts with French Club! Kids are so busy these days!

I'm sure there are kids who don't approve, or staff that will be uncomfortable with the existence of a GSA club on campus, but overall I've been absolutely amazed at the positive response. I am also amazed, when I think about it, by how much things have changed since when I was in high school.

In retrospect, we all knew who some of the gay kids were in high school (may he rest in peace, Todd Parker was already a huge B-52s and Bette Midler fan by that time), but there were a LOT, I'm sure, who flew under the radar. This was the time when we were all scandalized that Boy George told America that he was glad we recognized a good drag queen when we saw one, and we all promptly assumed he had told us all he was gay. I think we thought it was the same thing. As far as I can recall, there were no openly gay people around back then. Even Liberace was in the closet. Perhaps I was just stunningly naive, but I had no idea that the Village People were gay. This was the age before the internet, before MTV played black artists-heck, back when Michael Jackson was actually black! and MTV actually played videos!

It is absolutely monumental that there are not only openly gay and lesbian politicians, teachers, entertainers etc today, but that there are openly gay and lesbian students in our classrooms. Many of them have been out since middle school. Many of them have absolutely no issue with holding hands or being affectionate with each other. Many straight kids don't see anything unusual about this. Never in a million years would this have happened at Perris High School in the 1980's.

One of my openly lesbian students expressed concern that our club not be just for gay kids, but for everyone, and I totally agree with her. She pointed out that the Mexican kid who sits next to her in class was initially hesitant to sit next to her. After a few months, they talk and work together and it is no big deal. Perhaps in a very small, but significant way, she's made an impact on how he views gays and lesbians. I know that it's an overused cliche, but it is a lot easier to hate or demonize the unknown/other (whether it's a black person, a lesbian, a Mexican etc) if you don't actually know any of them. It's a lot harder to hate when that person is sitting next to you in history class. I hope that our little GSA, simply by its existence, will raise awareness that gays and lesbians and straight people can be friends and can work and live together in harmony. There is so much divisiveness and intolerance in our world today. I know there's room for a little more peace, love and understanding.