the times they are a-changin'....

So today I hosted an "organizational" meeting of Arlington's first Gay-Straight Alliance Club and we had a pretty good turnout. I had a small sign up in my own room and a special ed/theater teacher spread the word a bit (thanks Merica!), which was NOT a lot of publicity, but we still managed to get 13 really spirited and fun kids in my room at lunch time without even the lure of food or Lady Gaga!
The sign in my classroom prompted very little commentary. A couple of kids asked what a GSA was and reacted with "ugh" or "gross," to which I replied "then don't come to our meeting." One girl asked if the club was legal! However, I had many more kids ask me if they could join and could I please not make the regular meetings on Thursdays, because that conflicts with French Club! Kids are so busy these days!

I'm sure there are kids who don't approve, or staff that will be uncomfortable with the existence of a GSA club on campus, but overall I've been absolutely amazed at the positive response. I am also amazed, when I think about it, by how much things have changed since when I was in high school.

In retrospect, we all knew who some of the gay kids were in high school (may he rest in peace, Todd Parker was already a huge B-52s and Bette Midler fan by that time), but there were a LOT, I'm sure, who flew under the radar. This was the time when we were all scandalized that Boy George told America that he was glad we recognized a good drag queen when we saw one, and we all promptly assumed he had told us all he was gay. I think we thought it was the same thing. As far as I can recall, there were no openly gay people around back then. Even Liberace was in the closet. Perhaps I was just stunningly naive, but I had no idea that the Village People were gay. This was the age before the internet, before MTV played black artists-heck, back when Michael Jackson was actually black! and MTV actually played videos!

It is absolutely monumental that there are not only openly gay and lesbian politicians, teachers, entertainers etc today, but that there are openly gay and lesbian students in our classrooms. Many of them have been out since middle school. Many of them have absolutely no issue with holding hands or being affectionate with each other. Many straight kids don't see anything unusual about this. Never in a million years would this have happened at Perris High School in the 1980's.

One of my openly lesbian students expressed concern that our club not be just for gay kids, but for everyone, and I totally agree with her. She pointed out that the Mexican kid who sits next to her in class was initially hesitant to sit next to her. After a few months, they talk and work together and it is no big deal. Perhaps in a very small, but significant way, she's made an impact on how he views gays and lesbians. I know that it's an overused cliche, but it is a lot easier to hate or demonize the unknown/other (whether it's a black person, a lesbian, a Mexican etc) if you don't actually know any of them. It's a lot harder to hate when that person is sitting next to you in history class. I hope that our little GSA, simply by its existence, will raise awareness that gays and lesbians and straight people can be friends and can work and live together in harmony. There is so much divisiveness and intolerance in our world today. I know there's room for a little more peace, love and understanding.

I love my Prius

So I've been driving my Prius for about three months now and I must say that I LOVE IT! Here's why (not in order of importance):

1. with my old Passat, I had to fill up with super-unleaded gas once a week. 12 gallons of super unleaded gas=$$$! Now I fill up with gas about every two weeks, 9 gallons of REGULAR gas that generally costs less than $30. Less money spent on gasoline is less money sent to Iran and Saudi Arabia.

2. The Prius has forced me to think about HOW I drive as well as how much I drive. I accelerate more slowly, definitely try to get into the pulse-and-glide mode, and make a game of upping my gas mileage. So far I haven't managed to get over 45.5 mpg, but I am trying!

3. I will admit that driving the Prius is not NEARLY as much fun as the Passat. I can't power around other cars or zip onto the freeway anymore. That IS kind of a drag. However, did I mention 45 mpg? I can SO live without the zip. I'll leave that to the teenage boys in their raised trucks. Besides, if I need to climb a hill, the Prius can do it handily. and did I mention 45 mpg?

4. Although I have REALLY been trying to avoid the Prius "smug" factor, I will admit that I mentally make notes about every raised truck or frenzied teenager zipping down the road. I try to keep the smug factor as an internal dialogue. However, I continue to freely and openly hate on Hummers, which I did even before I owned the Prius.

5. Finally, this new car has a hook-up for my iPod! No more burning CDs just to play in the car! This may seem like an insignificant point, but I LOVE my music, and now it is sooooo much more convenient.

6. I love sneaking up on people when I'm in EV model. I feel futuristic, like I drive a car from "Gattaca."

7. Did I mention 45 mpg??

will racism, ignorance and fear be rewarded?

I am almost afraid to check the election results. I am so afraid that not only Sharon Angle will win (the Senate candidate who ran the patently racist Wave commercial in Arizona), but that people who are more militant and even less likely to reach across the aisle and compromise will be elected. i am afraid that the result will be even more gridlock and more frustration on the part of the average Joe voter who is just looking for someone to blame.

I am prepared for the depression tomorrow, but I"m not looking forward to it.

When people run openly anti-Mexican ads, it depresses me.

When people shove protesters to the ground and step on their heads, it worries me that we have lost all civility.

When HUGE amounts of corporate dollars, secret corporate dollars enter into political system, I worry that we are too easily bought.

when we can't debate issues, but instead devolve into name-calling and negative ads, I worry that our democracy cannot sustain itself.

No matter what happens in this election, I am still likely to be okay, but I worry for those who live closer to the edge.
If we are to be judged by the way we treat the poorest and most vulnerable amongst us, I am afraid we are not faring well.

why church is good for you.

Today's gospel was, I believe, a perfect example of why I think attending church on a regular basis can be really good for you. If I could sum it up in a catch phrase, it would be "it's not about you."

To totally paraphrase today's lesson: two guys go to pray at the temple. One is a community leader, wears the right clothes, contributes regularly, and when he prays, talks to God nonstop about how he is so happy that he's not a thief, a beggar, or that sketchy-looking tax collector who is sitting uncomfortably close to him. He spends his prayer saying all the right things, but barely giving God a chance to get a word in! The tax collector, meanwhile, knows that people hate him. He knows he's done bad things (overcharging and keeping the extra cash for himself). He asks God for forgiveness, implores God to help him lead a better life and thanks God for the opportunity to do so. Instead of talking about himself all the time, like the other guy, he is silent and lets God speak to him. He leaves the temple feeling like a new man and God is clearly pleased with him.

I think God is really saying in today's gospel, it's really, really not all about you. I wish more people would listen to that idea. I think I need to get reminded of it myself, as I'm clearly not perfect either.

It is so very easy to get caught up in the drama of our every day problems. A long-term boyfriend breaks up with a friend, and all she can think about his how to get him back, or how her life is so terrible. A neighbor complains that their job is so difficult and so trying, it hardly seems worth the effort. A star athlete complains that they are treated unfairly by the press.

Really, people, can we just get over ourselves for a little bit and see what's really important?

Yes, it is awful when your heart is broken. Sometimes our workplaces can be difficult and stressful. And yes, sometimes tabloid press coverage can be unfair. Maybe it's my eternally optimistic mother (and immigrants are nothing if not optimistic), that always stressed looking at the flip side of the coin. Yes, your heart was broken, but you did experience love and hopefully you DID learn something from it. Yes, your job is tough, but hey, at last you have a job! So many people do not! Be thankful for the blessing of work! yes, the tabloid may have you splashed on its cover, but presumably you are getting paid for what you love to do, and isn't that a HUGE blessing in itself? For goodness sake, stop whining!

Even if my children don't grow up to regular church-going Episcopalians, I hope and pray that this experience in their youth will help them to see that the world is more than their comparativelytiny, tiny trials and tribulations. We are all truly blessed to be born in an industrialized nation, with roofs over our heads, clean drinking water and food on the table. We are blessed to have world-class educations, especially when less than 1% of the world's population has college degrees. Most of the time we are blessed with good health and access (however expensive that access may be) to first class health care. We are blessed with a democratic government that (for the most part) respects our human rights and allows us the opportunity to fulfill our dreams and to provide a better future for our children. We have families and communities that nurture us and give us strength when the waters are rough.

Of course there are important, critical issues that we need to think about and address: global warming, our dependence on foreign oil, sustainable food, budget deficits, unemployment, etc.

However, I do feel every once in awhile we need to stop and think about all the blessings we do have in our lives. We need to stop whining, to stop wallowing in our own problems and be thankful (to God, Allah, or in the case of my friend Jake, to "Cher") for what we do have in our lives. In Sunday School today, the children were asked to write three simple sentence "prayers" to God. the key words were "Please," "thank you" and "I'm sorry." Taking a cue from my 7 year-old, I'd like to say the following: "Please" God/Allah/Cher, help me to think of others who are less fortunate than myself. "Thank you" God/Allah/Cher for all of the many blessings in my life. Finally, "I'm sorry" that I haven't been a better person this week, that I've been wallowing in my own problems and not seeing the forest for the trees. I'll try to do better, with your help.

You don't have to believe in God to agree that we all need, sometimes, to take ourselves a little less seriously. We need to stop, get off the egocentric (affluenza?) train and take stock of what really matters in our lives. It's not all about our problems. It's not all about us. It's really not. Make an honest assessment of your life and see what you can do better. Then tomorrow is a new day and a new opportunity to do better.

the curse of being big

Chiara asked when she is going to start up with tennis again! This is good, right? She's taking an interest in a sport, in being active and having fun. Unfortunately, this entails buying a pair of shoes, and once again mommy starts to worry.....

First worry, will I even find a pair of tennis shoes for her in the kids department in her size? Last time I checked, she was a kid size 4, which is the equivalent of a women's size 6. Yes, she's got a woman-sized foot on her 7 year old frame. This presents so many difficulties.
There is, of course, the money factor! Women's tennis shoes are at least double in price! And of course, most women's shoes don't have flashing lights or sparkly pink swooshes. This leads into difficulty #3; my girl, despite her size, is still a little girl! She would like flashing lights on her shoes (like her brother has) and would like sparkly, girly doo-dads on them too. Unfortunately, most kids shoes with the aforementioned doo-dads are not produced in size 4, presumably because manufacturers figure that by the time your foot is that big, you've outgrown the need for sparkly, child-like accoutrements. I don't think these manufacturers took into mind giant-footed little girls.

There are so many times when Chiara gets the short end of the stick because she is such a tall and big girl. The Chef can toss Mario all over the swimming pool because he is still so (relatively) small and slim. Chiara begs to be tossed too, but really, her sheer size limits her to minimal trajectory.

She still wants to be picked up, but really, it's a struggle for me to hoist her up around my waist. Last I checked, she weighs around 75 pounds, and that is quite a formidable size. I can generally only manage to carry her a few steps before I have to set her down, for fear of injuring my back. Even the Chef (with all his neck and back problems) cannot lift her. Last time I checked, Uncle Andrea was the only one strong and healthy enough to throw her up in the air! She still loves to be thrown in the air....

and clothes? oy. I am thankful for elastic waist leggings, Hanna Andersson clothes (however, expensive they may be), but I absolutely CURSE the makers of jeans who apparently don't believe that even big girls need elastic waists! I dread the day when my girl curses the shape of her body in a dressing room, as she wonders why she can't fit into the skinny jeans that all the other girls are wearing. I wish that I could insulate her from that reality, but I know I cannot. I expect that within the next year or two, she'll outgrow the girls department (she's already in sizes 10/12) and I know one day I will have to find age-appropriate clothes in the women's department.

The clothing and shoe manufactuers of America need to expand their size ranges for the sake of Chiara and other big and tall girls who are rapidly outgrowing what is readily available. I'm not ready for my 7-year-old to in the women's clothing or shoe departments yet. In a world where girls are being urged to grow up and assume adult roles at younger and younger ages, I'd like to keep my little girl a girl for as long as I can. Hopefully that's still possible.

first "cycling" class

So how did cycling/spinning go? I'll put it this way; treadmill is to running what cycling is to actually being outside on a bicycle. Close, but not quite. However, given that I have two small children and a husband who is never around to watch them while I go outside to run or bike, I think that treadmill and cycling will be in my future. So here's how it went:

1. Glad I got there early. Apparently the Saturday morning class was full.
2. I wasn't the only newbie.
3. Despite the fact that I wasn't the only newbie, the instructor was annoyingly vague about what we needed to do and when.
4. If you are not going to explain terms, you should post photos and short descriptions of what the different terms mean (time trial, over the top) and what gear, cadence, etc we should aim for.
5. All that whooping and yelling that is apparently the norm in spin classes is really annoying. I understand that it is supposed to show your enthusiasm, but I just found it distracting. I'm trying to pretend that I'm climbing over a mountain and a girl two rows over from me is whooping it up like she's on the warpath.
6. Apparently I am the only freak in the class that rides to the rhythm of the music. Please don't ask me to go faster because it is UNNATURAL for me NOT to ride with the beat. Or get a song with a faster beat. This Mexican girl has the beat in her soul and I can't just randomly spin, whatever the tune.
7. I need more feedback more often about where I should be regarding heartbeat, cadence etc.
8. It really was a sweaty workout. So happy I brought the towel and the water.
9. Padded cycling shorts are a must. Some of my, um, parts were uncomfortable.
10. That was a looooong one-hour class. Mario complained a bit that I was gone for a long time and he was not too happy about it. Perhaps he might've been happier if they had games or toys in child care center. That place is barren.
11. Despite the annoyances, I think I WILL try cycling/spinning again. It WAS a good workout.

Survivor: Mother Edition

I usually try to write my own stuff, but my friend Juliana sent this to me and I literally laughed out loud. I liked the line best about how you could only watch TV once all the chores are done.

so, here goes:
THE
NEXT SURVIVOR
SERIES
Six married men
will be dropped on an island
with one car
and 3 kids each

for six weeks.

Each kid will play two sports
and take either music or dance classes.

There is no fast food.

Each man must
take care of his 3 kids;
keep his assigned house clean,
correct all homework,
complete science projects,
cook,
do laundry,
and pay a list of 'pretend' bills
with not enough money.

In addition,
each man
will have to budget enough money
for groceries each week.

Each man
must remember the birthdays
of all their friends and relatives,
and send cards out on time--no emailing.

Each man must also take each child
to a doctor's appointment,
a dentist appointment
and a haircut appointment.

He must make one unscheduled and
inconvenient visit per child to the Emergency Room.

He must also make cookies or cupcakes
for a school function.

Each man will be responsible for
decorating his own assigned house,
planting flowers outside, and keeping it
presentable at all times.

The men will only have access to television
when the kids are asleep and all chores are done.

The men must shave their legs,

wear makeup daily,

adorn themselves with jewelry,

wear uncomfortable yet stylish shoes,

keep fingernails polished,

and eyebrows groomed

During one of the six weeks,
the men will have to endure severe
abdominal cramps, backaches, headaches,
have extreme, unexplained mood swings
but never once complain or slow down
from other duties.

They must attend weekly school meetings
and church,
and find time at least once to spend
the afternoon at the park or a similar
setting.

They will need to read a book to the kids eachnight
and in the morning,
feed them,
dress them,
brush their teeth and
comb their hair
by 7:30 am.

A test will be given
at the end of the six weeks,
and each father will be required to know
all of the following information:
each child's
birthday,
height, weight,
shoe size, clothes size,
doctor's name,
the child's weight at birth,
length, time of birth,
and length of labor,
each child's favorite color,
middle name,
favorite snack,
favorite song,
favorite drink,
favorite toy,
biggest fear,
and what they want to be when they grow up.

The kids vote them off the island based on performance.

The last man wins only if...
he still
has enough energy
to be intimate with his spouse
at a moment's notice.


If the last man does win,
he can play the game over and over and over
again for the next 18-25 years,
eventually earning the right
to be called Mother!


After you get done laughing,
send this to as many females as
you think will get a kick out of it and
as many men as you think can handle it.

Just don't send it back to me....
I'm going to bed.