Today's gospel was, I believe, a perfect example of why I think attending church on a regular basis can be really good for you. If I could sum it up in a catch phrase, it would be "it's not about you."
To totally paraphrase today's lesson: two guys go to pray at the temple. One is a community leader, wears the right clothes, contributes regularly, and when he prays, talks to God nonstop about how he is so happy that he's not a thief, a beggar, or that sketchy-looking tax collector who is sitting uncomfortably close to him. He spends his prayer saying all the right things, but barely giving God a chance to get a word in! The tax collector, meanwhile, knows that people hate him. He knows he's done bad things (overcharging and keeping the extra cash for himself). He asks God for forgiveness, implores God to help him lead a better life and thanks God for the opportunity to do so. Instead of talking about himself all the time, like the other guy, he is silent and lets God speak to him. He leaves the temple feeling like a new man and God is clearly pleased with him.
I think God is really saying in today's gospel, it's really, really not all about you. I wish more people would listen to that idea. I think I need to get reminded of it myself, as I'm clearly not perfect either.
It is so very easy to get caught up in the drama of our every day problems. A long-term boyfriend breaks up with a friend, and all she can think about his how to get him back, or how her life is so terrible. A neighbor complains that their job is so difficult and so trying, it hardly seems worth the effort. A star athlete complains that they are treated unfairly by the press.
Really, people, can we just get over ourselves for a little bit and see what's really important?
Yes, it is awful when your heart is broken. Sometimes our workplaces can be difficult and stressful. And yes, sometimes tabloid press coverage can be unfair. Maybe it's my eternally optimistic mother (and immigrants are nothing if not optimistic), that always stressed looking at the flip side of the coin. Yes, your heart was broken, but you did experience love and hopefully you DID learn something from it. Yes, your job is tough, but hey, at last you have a job! So many people do not! Be thankful for the blessing of work! yes, the tabloid may have you splashed on its cover, but presumably you are getting paid for what you love to do, and isn't that a HUGE blessing in itself? For goodness sake, stop whining!
Even if my children don't grow up to regular church-going Episcopalians, I hope and pray that this experience in their youth will help them to see that the world is more than their comparativelytiny, tiny trials and tribulations. We are all truly blessed to be born in an industrialized nation, with roofs over our heads, clean drinking water and food on the table. We are blessed to have world-class educations, especially when less than 1% of the world's population has college degrees. Most of the time we are blessed with good health and access (however expensive that access may be) to first class health care. We are blessed with a democratic government that (for the most part) respects our human rights and allows us the opportunity to fulfill our dreams and to provide a better future for our children. We have families and communities that nurture us and give us strength when the waters are rough.
Of course there are important, critical issues that we need to think about and address: global warming, our dependence on foreign oil, sustainable food, budget deficits, unemployment, etc.
However, I do feel every once in awhile we need to stop and think about all the blessings we do have in our lives. We need to stop whining, to stop wallowing in our own problems and be thankful (to God, Allah, or in the case of my friend Jake, to "Cher") for what we do have in our lives. In Sunday School today, the children were asked to write three simple sentence "prayers" to God. the key words were "Please," "thank you" and "I'm sorry." Taking a cue from my 7 year-old, I'd like to say the following: "Please" God/Allah/Cher, help me to think of others who are less fortunate than myself. "Thank you" God/Allah/Cher for all of the many blessings in my life. Finally, "I'm sorry" that I haven't been a better person this week, that I've been wallowing in my own problems and not seeing the forest for the trees. I'll try to do better, with your help.
You don't have to believe in God to agree that we all need, sometimes, to take ourselves a little less seriously. We need to stop, get off the egocentric (affluenza?) train and take stock of what really matters in our lives. It's not all about our problems. It's not all about us. It's really not. Make an honest assessment of your life and see what you can do better. Then tomorrow is a new day and a new opportunity to do better.
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Saturday, October 16, 2010
the curse of being big
Chiara asked when she is going to start up with tennis again! This is good, right? She's taking an interest in a sport, in being active and having fun. Unfortunately, this entails buying a pair of shoes, and once again mommy starts to worry.....
First worry, will I even find a pair of tennis shoes for her in the kids department in her size? Last time I checked, she was a kid size 4, which is the equivalent of a women's size 6. Yes, she's got a woman-sized foot on her 7 year old frame. This presents so many difficulties.
There is, of course, the money factor! Women's tennis shoes are at least double in price! And of course, most women's shoes don't have flashing lights or sparkly pink swooshes. This leads into difficulty #3; my girl, despite her size, is still a little girl! She would like flashing lights on her shoes (like her brother has) and would like sparkly, girly doo-dads on them too. Unfortunately, most kids shoes with the aforementioned doo-dads are not produced in size 4, presumably because manufacturers figure that by the time your foot is that big, you've outgrown the need for sparkly, child-like accoutrements. I don't think these manufacturers took into mind giant-footed little girls.
There are so many times when Chiara gets the short end of the stick because she is such a tall and big girl. The Chef can toss Mario all over the swimming pool because he is still so (relatively) small and slim. Chiara begs to be tossed too, but really, her sheer size limits her to minimal trajectory.
She still wants to be picked up, but really, it's a struggle for me to hoist her up around my waist. Last I checked, she weighs around 75 pounds, and that is quite a formidable size. I can generally only manage to carry her a few steps before I have to set her down, for fear of injuring my back. Even the Chef (with all his neck and back problems) cannot lift her. Last time I checked, Uncle Andrea was the only one strong and healthy enough to throw her up in the air! She still loves to be thrown in the air....
and clothes? oy. I am thankful for elastic waist leggings, Hanna Andersson clothes (however, expensive they may be), but I absolutely CURSE the makers of jeans who apparently don't believe that even big girls need elastic waists! I dread the day when my girl curses the shape of her body in a dressing room, as she wonders why she can't fit into the skinny jeans that all the other girls are wearing. I wish that I could insulate her from that reality, but I know I cannot. I expect that within the next year or two, she'll outgrow the girls department (she's already in sizes 10/12) and I know one day I will have to find age-appropriate clothes in the women's department.
The clothing and shoe manufactuers of America need to expand their size ranges for the sake of Chiara and other big and tall girls who are rapidly outgrowing what is readily available. I'm not ready for my 7-year-old to in the women's clothing or shoe departments yet. In a world where girls are being urged to grow up and assume adult roles at younger and younger ages, I'd like to keep my little girl a girl for as long as I can. Hopefully that's still possible.
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
first "cycling" class
So how did cycling/spinning go? I'll put it this way; treadmill is to running what cycling is to actually being outside on a bicycle. Close, but not quite. However, given that I have two small children and a husband who is never around to watch them while I go outside to run or bike, I think that treadmill and cycling will be in my future. So here's how it went:
1. Glad I got there early. Apparently the Saturday morning class was full.
2. I wasn't the only newbie.
3. Despite the fact that I wasn't the only newbie, the instructor was annoyingly vague about what we needed to do and when.
4. If you are not going to explain terms, you should post photos and short descriptions of what the different terms mean (time trial, over the top) and what gear, cadence, etc we should aim for.
5. All that whooping and yelling that is apparently the norm in spin classes is really annoying. I understand that it is supposed to show your enthusiasm, but I just found it distracting. I'm trying to pretend that I'm climbing over a mountain and a girl two rows over from me is whooping it up like she's on the warpath.
6. Apparently I am the only freak in the class that rides to the rhythm of the music. Please don't ask me to go faster because it is UNNATURAL for me NOT to ride with the beat. Or get a song with a faster beat. This Mexican girl has the beat in her soul and I can't just randomly spin, whatever the tune.
7. I need more feedback more often about where I should be regarding heartbeat, cadence etc.
8. It really was a sweaty workout. So happy I brought the towel and the water.
9. Padded cycling shorts are a must. Some of my, um, parts were uncomfortable.
10. That was a looooong one-hour class. Mario complained a bit that I was gone for a long time and he was not too happy about it. Perhaps he might've been happier if they had games or toys in child care center. That place is barren.
11. Despite the annoyances, I think I WILL try cycling/spinning again. It WAS a good workout.
1. Glad I got there early. Apparently the Saturday morning class was full.
2. I wasn't the only newbie.
3. Despite the fact that I wasn't the only newbie, the instructor was annoyingly vague about what we needed to do and when.
4. If you are not going to explain terms, you should post photos and short descriptions of what the different terms mean (time trial, over the top) and what gear, cadence, etc we should aim for.
5. All that whooping and yelling that is apparently the norm in spin classes is really annoying. I understand that it is supposed to show your enthusiasm, but I just found it distracting. I'm trying to pretend that I'm climbing over a mountain and a girl two rows over from me is whooping it up like she's on the warpath.
6. Apparently I am the only freak in the class that rides to the rhythm of the music. Please don't ask me to go faster because it is UNNATURAL for me NOT to ride with the beat. Or get a song with a faster beat. This Mexican girl has the beat in her soul and I can't just randomly spin, whatever the tune.
7. I need more feedback more often about where I should be regarding heartbeat, cadence etc.
8. It really was a sweaty workout. So happy I brought the towel and the water.
9. Padded cycling shorts are a must. Some of my, um, parts were uncomfortable.
10. That was a looooong one-hour class. Mario complained a bit that I was gone for a long time and he was not too happy about it. Perhaps he might've been happier if they had games or toys in child care center. That place is barren.
11. Despite the annoyances, I think I WILL try cycling/spinning again. It WAS a good workout.
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Survivor: Mother Edition
I usually try to write my own stuff, but my friend Juliana sent this to me and I literally laughed out loud. I liked the line best about how you could only watch TV once all the chores are done.
so, here goes:
THE
NEXT SURVIVOR
SERIES
Six married men
will be dropped on an island
with one car
and 3 kids each
for six weeks.
Each kid will play two sports
and take either music or dance classes.
There is no fast food.
Each man must
take care of his 3 kids;
keep his assigned house clean,
correct all homework,
complete science projects,
cook,
do laundry,
and pay a list of 'pretend' bills
with not enough money.
In addition,
each man
will have to budget enough money
for groceries each week.
Each man
must remember the birthdays
of all their friends and relatives,
and send cards out on time--no emailing.
Each man must also take each child
to a doctor's appointment,
a dentist appointment
and a haircut appointment.
He must make one unscheduled and
inconvenient visit per child to the Emergency Room.
He must also make cookies or cupcakes
for a school function.
Each man will be responsible for
decorating his own assigned house,
planting flowers outside, and keeping it
presentable at all times.
The men will only have access to television
when the kids are asleep and all chores are done.
The men must shave their legs,
wear makeup daily,
adorn themselves with jewelry,
wear uncomfortable yet stylish shoes,
keep fingernails polished,
and eyebrows groomed
During one of the six weeks,
the men will have to endure severe
abdominal cramps, backaches, headaches,
have extreme, unexplained mood swings
but never once complain or slow down
from other duties.
They must attend weekly school meetings
and church,
and find time at least once to spend
the afternoon at the park or a similar
setting.
They will need to read a book to the kids eachnight
and in the morning,
feed them,
dress them,
brush their teeth and
comb their hair
by 7:30 am.
A test will be given
at the end of the six weeks,
and each father will be required to know
all of the following information:
each child's
birthday,
height, weight,
shoe size, clothes size,
doctor's name,
the child's weight at birth,
length, time of birth,
and length of labor,
each child's favorite color,
middle name,
favorite snack,
favorite song,
favorite drink,
favorite toy,
biggest fear,
and what they want to be when they grow up.
The kids vote them off the island based on performance.
The last man wins only if...
he still
has enough energy
to be intimate with his spouse
at a moment's notice.
If the last man does win,
he can play the game over and over and over
again for the next 18-25 years,
eventually earning the right
to be called Mother!
After you get done laughing,
send this to as many females as
you think will get a kick out of it and
as many men as you think can handle it.
Just don't send it back to me....
I'm going to bed.
so, here goes:
THE
NEXT SURVIVOR
SERIES
Six married men
will be dropped on an island
with one car
and 3 kids each
for six weeks.
Each kid will play two sports
and take either music or dance classes.
There is no fast food.
Each man must
take care of his 3 kids;
keep his assigned house clean,
correct all homework,
complete science projects,
cook,
do laundry,
and pay a list of 'pretend' bills
with not enough money.
In addition,
each man
will have to budget enough money
for groceries each week.
Each man
must remember the birthdays
of all their friends and relatives,
and send cards out on time--no emailing.
Each man must also take each child
to a doctor's appointment,
a dentist appointment
and a haircut appointment.
He must make one unscheduled and
inconvenient visit per child to the Emergency Room.
He must also make cookies or cupcakes
for a school function.
Each man will be responsible for
decorating his own assigned house,
planting flowers outside, and keeping it
presentable at all times.
The men will only have access to television
when the kids are asleep and all chores are done.
The men must shave their legs,
wear makeup daily,
adorn themselves with jewelry,
wear uncomfortable yet stylish shoes,
keep fingernails polished,
and eyebrows groomed
During one of the six weeks,
the men will have to endure severe
abdominal cramps, backaches, headaches,
have extreme, unexplained mood swings
but never once complain or slow down
from other duties.
They must attend weekly school meetings
and church,
and find time at least once to spend
the afternoon at the park or a similar
setting.
They will need to read a book to the kids eachnight
and in the morning,
feed them,
dress them,
brush their teeth and
comb their hair
by 7:30 am.
A test will be given
at the end of the six weeks,
and each father will be required to know
all of the following information:
each child's
birthday,
height, weight,
shoe size, clothes size,
doctor's name,
the child's weight at birth,
length, time of birth,
and length of labor,
each child's favorite color,
middle name,
favorite snack,
favorite song,
favorite drink,
favorite toy,
biggest fear,
and what they want to be when they grow up.
The kids vote them off the island based on performance.
The last man wins only if...
he still
has enough energy
to be intimate with his spouse
at a moment's notice.
If the last man does win,
he can play the game over and over and over
again for the next 18-25 years,
eventually earning the right
to be called Mother!
After you get done laughing,
send this to as many females as
you think will get a kick out of it and
as many men as you think can handle it.
Just don't send it back to me....
I'm going to bed.
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Disneyland sucks!
ok, well not really. However, going there last night reminded me why (for now) Legoland is soooo much better.
reason #1; if you have an annual pass, you have to park twelve million miles away and take a tram into the park. At least nowadays I'm not dragging a stroller along, but it's still a pain.
reason #2: It's really crowded. yeah, I know-DUH! Usually we go in the mornings where it's just us and the other crazy people that get there at 7:30. When you go at night, however, there are twelve million people. These people include teenagers who dart in front of your children, laughing hysterically and not watching where they are going, holdout grown-ups dragging passed out children around in their triple-wide strollers and gigantic white people from the midwest blocking the walkways.
reason #3: as I mentioned last night, idiot adults get on the kid stuff (like the ropes adventure) and trample the little kids. Nobody tramples my kids at the Legoland ropes course. Why? Because it is specifically designed for kids and even if you DID try and trample my kid, a horde of angry parents would shame you into growing the F*** up! Seriously, last night this grown man and his wife were grabbing the sides of a bridge, bouncing up and down and screaming at the top of their lungs. and yes, it was still daylight. and yes, they saw that my kid and other kids behind them were freaking out at the apparently insane behavior of grown ups. and they didn't care. and it was still daylight. people are stupid.
reason #4:as Stephanie mentioned earlier this week, even the usually chipper staff was a bit surly last night. Last year when Chiara went for her birthday, EVERYONE wished her a happy birthday and did so with a genuine (or at least genuinely faked) smile. This year, it was more forced, some people forgot and some people just apparently didn't care. What happened to the Disney "magic"? If I am going to pay a ton of money for an annual pass, in the middle of the Great Recession, people had better be nice to me!! Or at least be nice to my little girl. I know she LOOKS like she's a jaded 9 year old, but she's still barely 7 and these things matter to her.
Of course there are still things that disneyland does spectacularly well. That Aladdin show is amazing. The fireworks show and how they choreograph it with the music and story is so creative. The "Soaring Over California" ride was incredibly realistic. However, these good things do not outweigh the many annoyances of Disneyland. We'll probably be back when the kids are older, but for now? Good riddance Disneyland! Hello Legoland!
reason #1; if you have an annual pass, you have to park twelve million miles away and take a tram into the park. At least nowadays I'm not dragging a stroller along, but it's still a pain.
reason #2: It's really crowded. yeah, I know-DUH! Usually we go in the mornings where it's just us and the other crazy people that get there at 7:30. When you go at night, however, there are twelve million people. These people include teenagers who dart in front of your children, laughing hysterically and not watching where they are going, holdout grown-ups dragging passed out children around in their triple-wide strollers and gigantic white people from the midwest blocking the walkways.
reason #3: as I mentioned last night, idiot adults get on the kid stuff (like the ropes adventure) and trample the little kids. Nobody tramples my kids at the Legoland ropes course. Why? Because it is specifically designed for kids and even if you DID try and trample my kid, a horde of angry parents would shame you into growing the F*** up! Seriously, last night this grown man and his wife were grabbing the sides of a bridge, bouncing up and down and screaming at the top of their lungs. and yes, it was still daylight. and yes, they saw that my kid and other kids behind them were freaking out at the apparently insane behavior of grown ups. and they didn't care. and it was still daylight. people are stupid.
reason #4:as Stephanie mentioned earlier this week, even the usually chipper staff was a bit surly last night. Last year when Chiara went for her birthday, EVERYONE wished her a happy birthday and did so with a genuine (or at least genuinely faked) smile. This year, it was more forced, some people forgot and some people just apparently didn't care. What happened to the Disney "magic"? If I am going to pay a ton of money for an annual pass, in the middle of the Great Recession, people had better be nice to me!! Or at least be nice to my little girl. I know she LOOKS like she's a jaded 9 year old, but she's still barely 7 and these things matter to her.
Of course there are still things that disneyland does spectacularly well. That Aladdin show is amazing. The fireworks show and how they choreograph it with the music and story is so creative. The "Soaring Over California" ride was incredibly realistic. However, these good things do not outweigh the many annoyances of Disneyland. We'll probably be back when the kids are older, but for now? Good riddance Disneyland! Hello Legoland!
Saturday, May 15, 2010
little girls magazines?
I saw a cool magazine this week at school that was all about girls/women and sports. There were women of all shapes and sizes, with mercifully few ads for beauty products. I thought to myself, "wow! I wonder if there is a magazine like this for little girls?" It would be better if this magazine didn't accept advertising, even if it was more expensive per issue.
So far, I can't find anything.
I am trying, as much as possible, to limit the insidious influence of advertising (beauty products etc) on her life. I don't want her to grow up and become part of the hyper=sexualized media campaign of Miley Cyrus and the like. I want her to enjoy being a little girl, be comfortable with her body and see some positive role models.
Is there anything out there? and if there isn't, will I have to create it??
So far, I can't find anything.
I am trying, as much as possible, to limit the insidious influence of advertising (beauty products etc) on her life. I don't want her to grow up and become part of the hyper=sexualized media campaign of Miley Cyrus and the like. I want her to enjoy being a little girl, be comfortable with her body and see some positive role models.
Is there anything out there? and if there isn't, will I have to create it??
Monday, May 3, 2010
Mother's Day
You know you are married to a chef when the very THOUGHT of Mother's Day fills you with dread. Even if you ARE a mother yourself.
Of course you wouldn't dare expect Chef to cook for you and your mom because he will be HIDEOUSLY busy and stressed out. You also won't go to any other restaurant because you know THEIR chefs and wait staff will also be busy and stressed out. So you will probably stay home and make pizza for the kids.
Of course you wouldn't dare expect Chef to cook for you and your mom because he will be HIDEOUSLY busy and stressed out. You also won't go to any other restaurant because you know THEIR chefs and wait staff will also be busy and stressed out. So you will probably stay home and make pizza for the kids.
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